Alternate (Phan)

44*Don't

Phil

Dan was out the door leaving me and Ev in the tent alone. We always set up tent inside buildings due to the lack of heating in buildings, it's safer to do so. I scooped up Ev into my arms, opening a can of his mushed food, which we'd recently transferred him onto instead of formula. There was an uncertain knock on the door.

'Can I come in?' Pj called.

'Yeah, just feeding Ev.' his head appeared into the tent, a wide smile spread across his face as he entered.

'Hey, mate. How's he doing?' he asked, nodding his head towards Ev.

'Yeah he's good. You?'

'I'm alright, actually. Annoyed how Chris kicked me out the tent.' he chuckled towards the end, settling down on the patch of floor opposite me.

'Yeah, the two of them are weird.'

'Tell me about it.' he chuckled. There was silence after that for a while, both of us concentrating on my child. Once he'd finished, I settled him down to the side and pulled out my connector.

'Cageflix?' I asked, not thinking of what else to do. He shrugged, nodding as he turned round. We watched a film about two teenagers trying to survive the war while completely in 'love'. It was obvious the skinny girl wouldn't have enough energy to live and was too ditsy to survive a second after birth. The boy was self-absorbed and was too buff for the limited amount of time he'd actually have to exercise if he was living the lifestyle he was acting. Apart from the film, the conversations with Pj were rather interesting. Irrelevant, but interesting.

'You can hear them giggling like schoolgirls from down here.' Pj chuckled, rolling his eyes.

'Dread to think what they're talking about.' I smiled, only imagining.

There was suddenly a crash outside, giving me no clue where it came from.

'Shit.' Pj gasped. My body froze, quickly pulling itself into a ball. I started gasping silently, trying to get air to my lungs that wasn't there 'You alright?' Pj asked, concern riding his voice. I tried to respond yes, only a sob reaching my throat.

The next thing I knew he was out the tent. I heard footprints hammer up the stairs. I started shaking, only imagining Dan's disappointment in me.

He marched in, instantly kneeling by my side and pulling me in to his body, 'Hey, hey Phil.' he whispered into my ear. Just the words alone gave me time to relax, 'Let's get your foot up, then we can talk.' I didn't argue, letting him pull my leg out and waited for him to return to my side. He started stroking my hair, hugged into my side as he did so, 'Talk to me.'

'T-there was just a loud noise - didn't you hear it?' I turned to him, looking down at the figure pressed into my body. He frowned, shaking his head. He turned to the doorway as I noticed a panicking Pj stand anxiously, 'Pj, did you?' he scrunched his eyebrows, shaking his head. I leant back, pulling my hands to my forehead and rubbing it. I sighed, coming to turns with everything.

Why didn't they hear it? What's wrong with them? I'm sick of being alone in things. I felt Dan shuffle to our bags at the side, listening as he scrambled through. I'm just sick of being a nuisance to him, to everyone. I clenched my fists, hitting my right hand against the floor. Dan took my left and passed me a tablet. I placed it in my mouth and swallowed, recognising the taste as one of the tablets I take when I switch. Did he think I'd switched? I am a nuisance. He shouldn't have to look after me.

He held me in his arms, my body shaking as I cried into his chest. I wasn't even sure why I was crying, but I was.

'You're tired. You've hurt your ankle and you're fed up with it. That's okay. Just let me help you. I love you, so I want to help you.l,' he spoke into my ear, 'And never think I don't want to help you, that's a lie. Of course I'd prefer not to help you, because that'd mean you didn't need help. I don't want you to hurt Phil, but when you do...please don't suffer alone. I know how that feels...' I looked directly at him, kissing his lips as I slid my arms round his waist.

'I-' I began, but he placed his hand over my mouth.

'Don't say anything, just rest. I'll stay with you tonight.

'Dan, don't-' he pinched my lips to shut me up further. I didn't want to ruin his night.

'I want to. I didn't like the idea of sleeping away from you anyway.'