Alternate (Phan)

54*Rossendale

February 2012

Dan

'Phil!' I squeezed, bashing my arms against his body. He had me flung over his shoulder, carrying me up the stairs.

'Shut up!' he whisper-shouted, placing me back on the floor and pressing our lips together. I looked into his eyes, noticing the way they were beaming through the colours.

'If Ev comes up...'

'Stop being so...'

'So what-?!'

'So overprotective!' he chuckled, wrapping my arms around my waist.

'Says you!'

'Exactly, says me!' I shook my head smiling, grabbing the back of his hair and pulling him towards me, 'Oh, who's complaining now?'

I rolled my eyes, 'Just shut up and fuck me.'

He smiled, raising our shirts over our heads and lifting me against the wall. I squeezed, trying to grab onto the flat surface my back was pressed against. He pressed his lips gently against mine, nipping my bottom lip with his teeth.

'Shut up otherwise you're going to wake Ev.' he tried sounding serious, but the smile on his face put a different tone to his voice.

He unbuckled our trousers, trying to muffle my giggles the entire time with his hand. He was never good at multitasking.

'Why are you so giggly?' he chuckled, contradicting his question.

'I don't know!' I flushed, cheeks heating up. I tried burying my head into his collar out of whatever form of embarrassment I was experiencing. He placed a kiss to the back of my exposed neck, sending a shiver across my body.

He held me against the wall, moving himself in according to not hurt my back against the peeling paintwork. I quickly glanced down, noticing all the bruising caused from over the year had cleared.

'Fuck!' I groaned, tensing my body as my nails dug into Phil's shoulders.

Only a few scars remained, but no stories were hidden from Phil behind those. All but one.

'I love you.' I heard him whisper through our jagged breathing.

'I love you too.' I replied in a hushed tone, pressing myself closer against him.

There was the small sound of echoes along the steps that we hadn't noticed previously due to the closeness of the other's breathing. Mine and Phil's faces froze. He slowly lowered me down to the floor as we then scrambled our clothes on our bodies. I was dressed, all but one trouser leg, when Ev appeared round the corner, a confused glance glued to his face.

'Why are you up here?' he questioned. My face heated up, so by natural instincts I walked behind Phil and whimpered up against him.

'We were just getting some things, Ev. Why aren't you asleep?'

'You were being noisy.' I felt Phil's glance on me, my face becoming flushed.

'Okay, sorry. How about you go down and we'll be back in a minute?' he nodded, turning back down the stairs. I stopped hearing the patter of feet, instantly laughing.

'Dan!'

'I'm sorry!' I barely breathed out in my fit. I sat against the wall, breathing out in a sigh of relief once I'd steadied myself.

'I'll check on Ev. Stay up here.' he sighed, rolling his eyes at me with a smile plastered to him.

***

'He's asleep again.' Phil spoke as he sat by my side. I cuddled up against his body, looking up at him. His fingers stroked through my hair as he placed a kiss to my forehead.

'What are you thinking about?' I asked him, noticing the way he seemed lost in his mind.

'I know you...you don't like me asking. What is that scar from?' I gulped, pulling myself tighter to his body.

'When-'

'You don't have to say!' he quickly chimed in.

'I think I want to.' I whispered. He nodded, listening intently as I continued, 'When I was in the submil we went on missions across the country. You were always to just obey. That's what I was taught to do since the young age I joined, so that's what I did. My final mission before I quit - and made my run for it - was harrowing. I haven't stopped thinking about it. I-I still get memories of it haunting my sleep. I was taken to a house that 'needed reclaiming by the government' and was told to guard the family as the others (in the section I was in) ransacked the place. I had one order: shoot if they move. Of course, the mother told...she told her son to make a run for it. I think he was around twenty. I assume it was her son, anyway. He refused, telling her to run as he took the bullet. They must have all agreed to run for it at the same time, because they all started moving. The brainwashed boy I was; I shot the three of them-' my voice broke, tears spilling down my face, 'I realised what I did. It was the first and last time I killed anyone, and despite how controlled I was being, I knew how wrong it felt. So I shot my control manager. I was then taken down by someone else in my section by a knife to disable me. That knife made the scar.' tears were pouring down my face at this point. Phil held me tightly in an embrace, allowing me to regain myself. I took a breath after a few minutes, continuing, 'That's why I fear guns, because of their power. I still see their three bodies in the patch of blue flowers the mother was tending as we captured them. That's why I was growing them in the pot you knocked over-'

'Blue flowers?' Phil's voice quivered.

'I know, I've only ever seen them once in full bloom, it was then-'

'The mother was tending blue flowers?' I looked to him, his face blank. I nodded at him. I saw his entire body start to shake, 'Where was this mission taking place?'

I stuttered my words in fear, 'R-Rossendale.' a tear slipped down his cheek as he gulped.

'My mother was tending our patch of blue flowers when I left the house to hunt. That was the day they were shot.'

'Did you-'

'We lived in Rossendale.'