Alternate (Phan)

37*Snow puddles

Dan

My back pressed against the cold stone wall, the wire cuffs tightly bounding my wrists together with the thin, sharp material. My back was sore from the oddly shaped position it had fallen into last night as I somewhat slept, but that was barely manageable with the harsh sounds of cracks and wines. It'd be less unnerving if the noises were from outside, but I knew some were just across the corridor.

I'd already tried lifting myself into a more comfortable position, but I'd lost too much energy to have remotely enough to do such a task. That's when I heard the slams get closer, my body going into panic as each one approached. My face scrunched up and I was chanting 'no' to the empty space of the room, begging for something to change. I tried huddling into a ball against the wall, but it was barely manageable before-hand, let alone with fear rattling my organs as my body was violently shaking. The last slam happened, but that was no good news as it was on my door. I think back now, knowing that the hunters must have been aware of the horrific despair each of their prisoners were feeling, meaning they were purely committing psychological torture every moment they decided to do something like this. Something to stay with someone for life.

The door slid open, a man stepped in with the wide smile I'd dreaded to get to know. The same man that had caused at least over half of the marks now scattered across my skin. He crouched at the door, slowly creeping in up to me and when he did, knelt in front of me and stared right into my eyes. I stared back. If anything, it was grounding for my mind to know that this thing was still somewhat human. I don't actually know if that was a good thing to be reminded of or not, but the eye contact gave a sense of relief for me in my state.

The man started prodding my arms, nodding as he did so. He occasionally pinched an area, once hard enough to make me wince back in pain. He laughed, of course he laughed. Why wouldn't he?

He turned my left arm over, approached his finger to my forearm where the inside of my elbow was showing. He poked it, pinched it and moved it around as if to inspect it. The man nodded, smiling to himself as he pulled out a blade from his back pocket. A rush of fear flooded every inch of me, making me close to throwing up that exact second. In hindsight, I should've aimed for the man. Instead, I breathed before he put the knife to the spot of skin and pushed it into the muscle. I freaked out, losing my body and passing out, which happened to be - and I'm grateful for - was the same moment I woke up.

I held my knees to my face in the tent, the sheets falling off my chest as I did so. I felt Phil turn to me, his face beaming out with excitement. I shook my head to no one in particular, then rested my forehead into my knees and closed my eyes to steady my breath.

'It's Christmas?!' Phil exclaimed with less excitement than I imagined he would have at the statement, sounding almost like a question in the tone he stuttered the words. I looked up and his face dropped, his body instantly shuffling closer to mine.

'Dan, everything's fine,' he spoke with a calming manner to his voice, his arm wrapped itself around my body as he pulled me closer to himself, 'Just breathe.' I nodded, piercing my lips and embracing the shuffle towards his body he'd opened up to me. He waited a couple of minutes for my breathing to steady out and the warm tears that had started to trickle down my face only moments ago to settle against my skin, 'Do you want to say what's wrong?'

I sighed, pulling my head slightly out of his chest as I replaced it with his shoulder, 'J-j-just a...' I tightened my lips in between my teeth not realising I was going to stutter so much in speech, I swallowed before I began again, 'Memory came back in my dreams.' he nodded, rubbing his hand against my side to soothe me.

'Merry Christmas.' Phil whispered in my ear once I'd calmed down and some energy had returned to my face. He was good at relaxing me, but I guess he'd grown to know what I needed since this was just one of the handful of dreams I'd woken up to.

'Merry Christmas, Phil.' I smiled, watching as he clapped his hands and turned to the side. He pulled out something small wrapped in cloth. I squinted my eyes, trying to already guess what was inside. He passed the mass of material towards me, staring at me intently as I unravelled the material through my fingers. I smiled once I saw a collection of characters we'd seen in games we'd played together. He'd drawn them - better than I'd have thought he could, which showed the amount of time he must have spent on it - and handmade a key chain with wire.

I started shaking slightly, Phil looked concerned towards me and he placed his hand on my knee, 'What is it Dan?'

I bit my lip and sighed, shaking my head slightly as I spoke, 'Wire...' I mumbled, quickly stammering out the rest of the sentence after, 'B-but it's fine! It's only b-because I just had the nightmare.' my eyes were wide with hope that he was convinced, I truly did love the gift. He smiled back at me, nodding his head as the brightness returned to his cheeks.

I turned around, pulling out a curved metal plate thing.

'Well, I did make a really cute pet snowman,' I sighed, 'But I guess he got too excited for Christmas.' I laughed as I reasoned, pulling out the puddle of water that somewhat still had lumps of ice in it. Phil just chuckled, shaking his head at me and looking as if to say are you that dumb? 'I'm not clever, okay?!' I whined, pressing the plate towards him.

'I'll treasure it.' Phil chuckled, shaking his head at me again.

'When I saw that yesterday, I realised I should also do this.' I then pulled out an old container cap which had three rocks in. I'd drawn eyes on them with a bluntie pen and gave them expressions to match our personalities. Ev was the tiny rock that sat between the other two rocks. Phil's face relaxed, turning to an 'o' shape as he gently poked the rocks. I say gentle, but nothing can be delicate with Phil as his clumsy fingers knocked the stack over. We both chuckled, smiling towards each other.

Ev began to whimper, sitting upright in his bed and looking cross.

'What is it Ev?' I asked.

'Nom.' he snapped, hitting his hand against his mouth.

'Breakfast it is.' Phil giggled, pulling Ev towards his chest.

We were starting to cut back on food supplies, both knowing we were running out but couldn't bring the words to our lips. We'd sort it out when the time came.

I pulled out my connector and scrolled through, sending a twait to wish everyone a happy Christmas. There were a few twaits back wishing the same thing, but multiple were just links to stories.

Wait what?

'What's wrong?' Phil asked as I'd had my face scrunched up. I relaxed it.

'Oh nothing.' I replied, concentration still firmly on the links. I clicked one, seeming they all seemed identical, and read the title.

Snow Fic.

Phil and I had kept our relationship reasonably private, it was our life and we didn't see the need to tell any of our followers yet. Oh boy did I regret even publicising that we spent time together as I read through my screen. I got to the end, mentally scared at whatever shit I just read.

'Hey...hey Phil?'

'Yeah.'

'Read this.'