I Found You

Chapter 5

(On The Phone)

XXX --- "what sis it's like 3 in the morning"

SabiDUB --- "Yeah, yeah I know but I need you over here so get up"

XXX --- " Nah sis Im good Ill see you tomorrow at Ski's crib"

SabiDUB --- " Like I said get ya ass up and get over here"

XXX --- "But sis com-"

SabiDUB --- " Aight I guess I have to call mama "

* Calling "Maaama" *

You: Mom Jahseh won't come over and help me.

Mom: Y/N do you know what time it is girl?

You: But mooom I need help and Ski isn't gonna help

Mom: Why can't that little girl that live wit you help you wit whatever it is?

I paused not knowing what to say, you see my mom never liked Cierra well nobody except Logic who at the time was my best friend.

They use to always be around each other, and would get quite every time I came around, now thinking about it kinda makes me mad because I was so naive about what I knew was happening or what was gonna happen.

Mom: Y/N you still there?

You:...Um yeah..but um she's not here right now. You know what ma my bad for waking you up um... tell dad I said wassup and Imma take a flight down there to come see ya'll some day next week. Goodnight ma, love you.

After that I hung up and went up stairs to the bedroom that I use to share with who I believed was the love of my life.

As I stood in the doorway of the room memories of the good times we had in there played out in front of me like a vivid dream but then the bad memories played and the night my world fell apart showed.

I felt as though I should've let her have her way when we was in the studio because even though I didn't feel the passion of it I still had her near me, I still had some type of completeness with her there. I still miss her.

I cried and yelled out in frustration of me being so stupid as to not seeing this coming and kind of still wanting her back after she shattered my heart.

I got up to walk downstairs to the kitchen. I opened up my liquor cabinet and a glass cup. I grabbed the Hennessy sat everything on the counter deciding on if I was gonna do it or not, I put the glass back and choose to just drink out the bottle instead.

I walked to the living room and turn on the TV I sat down and flicked through channels while taking big gulps of henny, after a while the bottle was empty so I decided to light up.

As I pulled out the pre-rolled joints and lighter I had a flashback to how Cierra would always get mad at me for smoking so I would smoke when she wasn't home or when I went to my cousin Aaren's house.

I chuckled thinking about all the fights about it

"Stupid bitch" I lifted the joint to my lips and took a long pull letting the smoke fill my lungs, pull after pull I felt myself relax more and more.

I got up to find something to eat, I walked to the fridge and opened it to see barely anything in there but some old Mexican food so I just grabbed that and searched my cabinets for some more stuff. I luckily found some hot cheetos and some other snacks, I went back to the living room, grabbed my baggy and went but back to the basement studio.

When I got there I locked myself into the studio and put the stuff in my arms in the chair beside me and sat near the soundboard. I rolled up before I grabbed my acrostic guitar and played it again, I recorded the melody I was playing and laid down some verses.

I was getting stuck on the chorus so I sit there for a minute and just thought about my life before this, before the my heartbreak, before the fame, before I knew who I was as a person.

This landed me to the memory of when I first laid eyes on this girl named Alexus she was my first crush ever, she was so every bodies crush though.

She was so beautiful and smart, I was just this dork who never talked to anyone but was only known around the school because I played basketball for the school.

My brother knew about my feelings toward her and my little brother Jahseh was bestfriends with her brother. One thing led to another my brother told her about my feelings and it's crazy because she felt the same way.

We dated for a year or so but broke up because I had to move down here because of my Dad and his job. I couldn't forget the effect she had on me, I am a whole different person because of her. The thought of it made me chuckle to myself and that's when the chorus came to me.

I took some pulls while I started the beat over and put the headphones on listening and waiting for it to get to the chorus. I sung the chorus and finished the song but I still felt as thought something wasn't right. I just brushed it off and took some more pulls and eat some of the snacks while playing the beat I made a week ago.

I picked up my phone well I think it was my phone I dont know know at the moment I'm at my 6th blunt and this shit hitting me. I squint my eyes to see the time and it showed 6:03 a.m I huffed and got up to walk to the couch and laid down pulling the blanket that was laying on the back of the couch over me.

I got back up to get the bag of chips I had and went back to the couch and ate them while looking at the ceiling I turned and looked at the ashtray near the soundboard it had half of a blunt I got up and grabbed my lighter lit it up while walking back to the couch and sitting down thinking about my life from the start to now.