i say that i'll erase you,
but i can't really let you go yet.
no longer updating, thank you for the endless amount of support for this cringe thing i started and never would've expected to get this amount of attention for. :)
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please listen to ariana grande's song ghostin as this was the main inspiration for this chapter.
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"he just comes to visit me when im dreaming every now and then"
I felt my cheeks getting hotter by the second and my lungs felt like they were about to burst from laughing so hard.
"Je-Jeon Jungkook s-stop tickling me!" Was all that managed to come out before I bursted into another fit of laughter.
"Not until you delete that picture of me you sneaky littl-" still I didn't surrender my phone in my hands.
Finally Jungkook stopped. He huffed as he got off of me and sat at the other end of the couch and crossed his arms. I laughed as he pouted.
"Oh c'mon Jungkook don't be like that." Silence was all that was heard after that. I sighed and scooted over to Jungkook as I wrapped my hands around his back.
"You know I was just playing right? You looked cute when you were snoring." Still no answer was to be heard as he continued to give me the silent treatment.
I had an idea as I got up and stood in front of him. I softly put my hands on his cheeks, making him look up at me.
"Please don't be mad at me...?" I gave my best puppy eyes and I smiled widely as I heard Jungkook sighing. I knew I won.
"It's impossible to be mad at you when you're so adorable..." I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned down as I kissed his nose.
"I'm sorry baby I didn't mean to make you upset." He smirked at me and I raised an eyebrow.
"This doesn't mean I won't punish you tho." I didn't have time to react as Jungkook grabbed me by the waist and threw me over his shoulder. I yelped and screamed as he walked to our bedroom while whistling and humming. I laughed and playfully hit his back as I already knew where this was leading.
My eyes snapped open.
It was a dream. Everything has been a dream. I realized that the dream I so desperately wished was real was not real. I felt my heart breaking at the realization and tears instantly sprung to my eyes.
Jungkook visited me in my sleep again.
I tried holding my tears in for the sake of being strong but failed as they cascaded down my cheeks. This soon turned into a sob that I was desperately trying to keep quiet.
"Hey, hey it's okay. It was another dream again y/n. You were just dreaming." I felt Hoseok's arms wrap softly around my frame and I looked up to see him.
"i know that it breaks your heart when i cry again, over him"
He slightly smiled as we made eye contact to comfort me and rubbed my back but I could see deep inside that he was hurt.
"im hating myself cause you don't want to admit that it hurts you"
Hurt from seeing me cry each time I dreamed of him again. Hurt that although I was his, i wasn't completely at the same time. Hurt that I couldn't let go. Hurt that he didn't want to admit it.
And this hurt me even more.
I felt a deep sense of hatred for myself as I saw Hoseok trying to comfort me. I could see how tired he was behind the smile. Why does he love me when he deserves so much better?
I felt my head rest against Hoseok's shoulder as I sobbed harder. I felt so grateful for him but I couldn't shake off the need to be comforted by Jungkook.
I would give anything to be in Jungkook's arm for last time. I still loved him and I missed him so damn much. I missed his bunny smile that never failed to light up my day. I missed his kisses that would always make me flustered. Some days I swore I could hear his laugh that sounded like music to my ears.
The fact that Hoseok knew this but didn't say anything because of the fact that he loved me too much made me feel deeply guilty and horrible.
I knew that Hoseok was trying his best and he really was treating me good but he wasn't Jungkook. He couldn't pick up my broken pieces and the guilt was eating me alive for putting him through this pain because of my pain.
"I'm so sorry Hoseok." He shushed me with a soft kiss. He caresses my cheeks and planted a kiss on top of my forehead.
"It's okay y/n. I know you're not completely over him and I'm willing to wait for the day you are because I know it'll be worth it. We'll get through this, okay?" I nodded and felt my body getting sleepy.
"We'll get pass this."
A/n
oh my...
im sad now :(
ouch this one really hit me than all the other ones ;((
