Blue // Daniel Seavey

Chapter 46

A/N: (Song for the end of the chapter^)

Tori

Do I pull the trigger? Fear isn't just a feeling - it isn't just an emotion that comes and goes whenever it pleases - it's something much worse. It's almost as if it fear itself has a soul, or better yet, it is a soul. One so menacing that it makes every human's body an ice sculpture as it enters their head, cascades through their bloodstream, and hits each and every nerve that is possible to exist. Fear hurts more than just the heart in its ominous arrival. It can make someone freeze until they have no breath left to breathe; it can make someone tremble until every hair on their delicate skin is standing up in inferiority; it can make someone cry until their tears are no longer just a drop in the ocean.

My skin is severely cold, my heart is dangerously pounding, my hands are wickedly wavering as I hold the gun between them. I stretch my shaking arms out in front of me as I clutch onto the simple piece of black metal that could end one's life in a millisecond, staring into the eyes that could be closed in an instant if I choose to press the button that could lead to his oblivion. The trigger of a gun is a literal button to end a life - of course depending on where you shoot it - and I could do that right now. Right now. But I'm unaware if I can do this, will I overcome it, or will the fear prevail?

Do I pull the trigger?

That's not the question: Can I pull the trigger?

Can I pull the trigger?

~▪️~▪️~ ━━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━ ~▪️~▪️~

Four hours earlier

I haven't said those words to him since the last time I did, which was a week ago now, but neither has he. It's true, I said the words with the whole of my heart, because I meant them. I'm assuming why we haven't said them since is because we don't need to; we don't need to reassure each other. It's not something we say before we sleep, or before we part ways, or whenever we're together in general. Because we don't need to. Even without the words, we know how we feel.

After having squeezed into a classy, navy blue dress and put on some black flats, my parents and I get into my blue car, me behind the steering wheel. How many times have I forced myself into a dress since I met Daniel? I'm surprised my parents are allowing me to drive them somewhere that's far enough that I have to actually use my accelerator - so yes, that's anywhere, but I insisted. Turning on the engine, I take a breath, preparing myself as I'm a bit out of practice; I'm hardly driving myself around as Daniel usually insists on doing it.

"Oh Lord, please let this be a safe journey," I hear my mother say from the seat behind me, so I look in the rear view mirror to see her praying. I roll my eyes, my mother is far from a religious woman.

My dad chuckles beside me, but I only roll my eyes once more. "Guys, I'm a good driver. I've only ever ran over two people and I never even got in trouble for it--"

"Tori!" My mom says, reaching around to slap my arm.

"Gosh, I'm kidding!" I respond quickly before she has the chance to pull hair off my head, "I'm about to set off so I suggest you buckle up unless your night plans are to go flying straight out the windscreen--"

"Tori," my mother scolds again, her voice low and serious this time. "If I go flying out the windscreen, you'll be extremely regretful that you came flying out my vagina. Because you'll wish you never came into this world."

My dad chuckles more, causing me to smile as he shakes his head in amusement.

"Mom, the reason why I'm in this world isn't my fault, you can blame Dad for not having good pull out game." The words spill out of my mouth uncontrollably and the next thing I know is my mother's hand slapping the back of my head.