How He Broke

You'll Never Understand (Sage's POV)

I pushed myself up, using all my strength to get out of the chair.

Once up I made my way towards the door, deciding I should probably head home before Tate started freaking out, loosing his mind over me being gone.

I exited, closing the door behind me before facing the stairs.

"Okay, Sage." I sighed, trying to figure out how I was going to get down without busting my ass. "You can do this. Just put all your weight against the tree." I told myself as I placed my hand against the tree for balance.

I began the descent down the stairs, praying to anyone listening to keep me from falling down.

"I did it!" I cheered once I had made it to the bottom, feeling extremely out of breath and wore out, but also more proud than ever. "Indi! Mommy did it!" I smiled, rubbing my stomach as I leaned up against the tree to take a break and catch my breath.

Nothing could ruin my mood now; I felt invincible.

"Sage!" I heard Tate scream for me. "Sage what the fuck were you thinking?!"

"What?" I wrinkled my brow in confusion as he stomped his way over to me.

"Do you have any idea how worried I was about you?! I got home from school only to see your moms car missing and you nowhere to be found!" He yelled.

"I needed some air." I defended myself softly.

Tate snorted at my response. "You needed air. Right." He rolled his eyes at me. "Do you know how exhausted your mom is! She had no idea where you were either! You can't just disappear without a single word like that, Sage!" He scolded me. "You could've fallen and hurt yourself or even worse, hurt Indigo!"

"I needed a break, Tate!" I raised my voice back at him.

"A break from what?!" He yelled. "You know who needs a break? I do! I'm the one who wakes up at two in the morning to you crying! I'm the one that helps you do everything! I have gotten zero sleep in the past three months because of you, and I've had a pretty good attitude about it, but I'm exhausted! If anyone needs a break, it's me!" He screamed.

"You're not the one carrying this baby, Tate!" I yelled, reaching my limit with him. "I never asked you to stick around! You could've left at any time but you didn't! I wish I was in your position because no one expects anything from you!"

"What's that supposed to mean?!" He threw his hands up in the air. "I'm the father of that baby, of course I'm expected to be here for you through it all!"

"You aren't expected to carry it! And most importantly, you aren't expected to keep it! Tate you have no idea how exhausted I am both mentally and physically!" I screamed at him. "You haven't a single fucking clue just how fucking hard it is to be a teen mom! You have no idea how much it hurts to be judged for being pregnant! Or how hard it is to even get down the stairs or out of a car! You have no idea how terrifying it is to think that you're the one that has to actually give birth to another human being! I'm going to be a mother, Tate! I'm not even seventeen yet, and I'm going to have a baby! I'm not ready! I'm scared, I'm exhausted, and most of all Tate, I've felt like I've been suffocating this entire time because I can't talk to you about how hard it's been on me!" I yelled, tears streaming down my face. "I've been distracting myself from how I've been feeling because I know I'm a burden! I know how hard it is on you and my mother, but you, you Tate Langdon, have no idea how painful it is to be the one that has to go through it all alone!"

"You aren't going through it alone, Sage!" Tate laughed, anger still evident in his voice.

"Maybe not physically Tate, but emotionally and mentally I am! I've had to completely change my entire life's plan for this! I've had to put on my big girl panties and deal with this despite not being ready for any of it at all! I'm the one responsible for making sure Indigo is born healthy and safe! I'm the one whose had to change what they eat, drop out of school, and just change every other aspect of their fucking life so this baby comes into this world! What have you done, Tate?! Nothing! You still get to go to school! You can eat whatever the fuck you want! And at the end of the day, Tate, you could walk out the front door and never be apart of this child's life! I can't do that Tate! I can't just walk away because she's growing inside of me!"

Tate shook his head, not wanting to hear what I have to say.

"I've had to deal with this alone, Tate! So excuse me for wanting a break from it for just one single fucking second! Excuse me for wanting to get out of the house so that I could catch my breath and actually fucking think clearly for the first time in eight months!"

Tate sighed. "You're right. I'm sorry." He said flatly. "I know it hasn't been easy on you, Sage, but fuck! I was so scared that something bad happened, that you were going to harm yourself and Indigo."

"You really think I would hurt, Indigo?" I asked, my heart cracking. "Sure it's been hard, and yeah I've wished for it to be easier somehow, but never would I hurt her! And the fact that you would even allow a thought like that to pass through your mind is absolutely ridiculous!"

"Can you blame me, Sage?!" Tate laughed, "I come home from school, and you're gone without a trace! What do you expect me to think?!"

"That I needed to get some fresh air!" I answered. "You should know me better than that, Tate! For fuck sake you really think I'm that much of a monster?" I yelled feeling my blood pumping. "You should know me better than that because I stuck around with you even after every possible warning sign told me not to!"

Tate gave me a hurt look; pain in his eyes. "I can't help that I have problems, Sage!"

"And I can't help that I have a baby growing inside me! I'm not going to punish either of you by treating you poorly for things neither of you can help!" I yelled. "Indigo shouldn't be taken out of this world, and you shouldn't be deemed unloveable simply because you have an psychopathic alternate personality inside of you!"

Tate sighed in defeat, realizing how wrong he was. "I'm sorry okay! I was just scared that you might not have been thinking clearly, and that you were going to do something you'd regret later." He explained.

I wasn't done arguing yet. I was fuming, hormones raging and I still had more to say.

"The only thing I regret, Tate, is meeting you at that stupid fucking party!" I screamed. "If I hadn't met you, I wouldn't even be in this position!"

"You can imply that you hate me all you want, Sage, but you know that's not how you feel!" Tate yelled.

"I don't know how I feel anymore, Tate!" I cried, my voice cracking. "I don't know how I feel anymore, alright! Everything's a mess in my head right now! I can't make sense of any of it and it's tearing me apart!"

Tate shook his head as he approached me.

"Don't touch me!" I cried, tears beginning to stream down my face. "Just leave me alone, Tate! Go away!" I backed up against the tree as Tate got closer, wrapping his arms around me.

"I love you, Sage." Tate said softly, my knees going weak. "And you love me."

"No!" I cried, sliding down back against the tree. "You're a monster, Tate! A sick and twisted monster and I hate you with every fiber of my being!" I began slamming my fists down against his back as he helped me fall to my knees gently, making sure I didn't hurt myself on impact.

"Shhh." Tate tried to calm me down, his hand on the back of my head, holding me against his chest. "I'm sorry, Sage."

"I hate you, so much!" I cried, my hands falling from hitting him to grip onto the front of his shirt. "You did this to me!"

"I know, Sage. I'm sorry." He continued to apologize, kissing the top of my head. "I'm so, so sorry."

"It hurts so bad, Tate." I sobbed, holding onto him. "I can't take it anymore."

"It's okay, Sage." Tate reassured me, "You're the strongest girl I've ever met," Tate spoke gently. "If anyone can do it, you can."

"I'm so scared, Tate." I admitted. "I've never been more scared in my entire life than I am right now."

"There's nothing to be afraid of, Sage." Tate spoke softly. "You'll never be alone. I promise."