How He Broke

Letting It All Out.. (Sage's POV)

"Off." Matty instructed once we stopped. 

We were at the park. So many memories here; I guess this is another one to add.

I slid off the side, looking down at my feet sadly like a child waiting to be scolded by their parents for doing something they weren't supposed to. 

Matty put the kick stand up before shutting off the engine, sliding off the side to stand beside me.

"Come on." He said simply, walking past me and around his motorcycle to make his way towards the park.

I followed behind him like a lost puppy, towards the small wooded area at the very back of the park; a place where kids liked to go to climb trees. I remember being an adolescent, climbing them with Skyler and Matty, ah the good old days. 

I was so ashamed, so angry at myself for letting everything get to this point. My mind replayed the events leading up to now as I followed closely behind Matty. I remembered the bottle of pills in my waistband; I made sure to quietly slip them out and into my bra so that Matty wouldn't notice. 

"Open your mouth." He instructed. 

I did as I was told, opening my mouth for him. 

Matty put his left hand on the back of my head. "You're going to hate me for this, but it's for your own good." He sighed as he gave me an apologetic look.

I was taken off guard when Matty shoved his index and middle finger down towards the back of my throat, guiding my head forward as my gag reflex took over.

I fought the urge to vomit, trying to shove his hand away. I was successful, his hand leaving my mouth only for a moment.

"Sage, stop fighting me!" He scolded me, regaining control over me as his hand made its way back towards my mouth, fingers sliding down towards the back of my throat. "I'm trying to help you." He said calmly as I began squirming beneath him, not even flinching as I tried pulling his arm back. "you need to throw this shit up."

I felt it climb up my throat; I finally shoved him off of me, putting my hands on my thighs as I began to vomit onto the grass. 

Matty sighed, rubbing my back gently as I continued to throw my guts up. 

"I'm sorry, Sage. I should've kept better track of you." Matty said sadly, "If I had, we wouldn't be here having to do this, but you fucking vanished within a second and I couldn't find you." He explained.

I shook my head, my breathing heavy. "It's not your fault." I managed to say before feeling the urge to throw up some more.

"I wanted you to have a good night." Matty said in defeat. "I wanted to make up for last time, and every time before that, but it seems like I just fucked up even more." He laughed.

I shook my head, standing straight once I was sure I had gotten it all out; I wobbled a little, feeling a little dizzy. Matty caught me, helping me balance as I gave a small smile as thanks.

 "I did have a good night. At least at first." I said with a laugh, leaning against him for support. 

"That fucking jerk, Anthony." Matty sighed in defeat. "I'll never forgive him."

"It's not his fault, and it's not your fault." I said. "It's mine. I wasn't thinking clearly when I should have.."

Matty sighed, unable to accept the reality of the situation as he helped to walk me over towards a swing set. 

"It's just been so hard lately, y'know?" I said as I departed from his side, taking a seat on the swings. "Everything has been so complicated recently, and tonight I just felt free for the first time in a long time."