Endless love (Discontinued)

Chapter 9: At home

(Betty's POV)

He is coming to my house. A boy who is not my dad is going to see my room. How do I explain it to Mum? What do I tell Veronica, or even more important: DO I tell her?

I could feel my heart beating fast and I was beginning to sweat. The thought of someone new visiting me was kind of freaking me out. My breath was hectic and I noticed the panic trying to take over my mind. I remembered the things I had read online about anxiety and panic attacks and reminded myself to breathe slowly. My hands were shaking, I was shivering and I felt the urge to throw up but I kept breathing and concentrated on that. Finally, I felt my chest rising and falling in a normal rhythm and opened my eyes again.

I got up out of my bed and looked at myself in the mirror, I looked worse than ever. Because of the sweat I decided to change my clothes and instead of my normal pastel clothes I picked a black jeans and a dark blue top. Sweetpea only knew me as the perfect little girl I always tried to be but no one knew that I had a dark side.

My dark side. Where do I start explaining it? She goes by the name 'Dark Betty', not really creative but that's the best way to describe her. She wears a short dark wig and only black clothes. Her Makeup looks like she only used a black crayon. She doesn't cry, she doesn't laugh. She is angry, mean and coldhearted. I'm always trying to hide her because she is the worst part of my personality. It's driving me insane that I don't know how to handle her. I wish she would leave, but I guess I'm destined to be with her forever.

After a few minutes of looking at myself in the mirror I felt anxious again. It could only be a matter of time until Sweetpea would show up. As if he heard my thoughts, my phone vibrated telling me that he is on his way.

I tried to calm down and reached for the poster, our project, and put it on my desk. My room looked clean and boring like it always does and I couldn't help but imagine his judging looks at it. Then someone suddenly knocked on my window.

Surprised and anxious I turned around and saw the dark hair and familiar face. I couldn't help but smile awkwardly and opened the window.

"It's fucking cold outside. Good that you finally let me in", he said to me instead of hello. I nodded at him and then sat down on my chair. His eyes looked around my room as he was observing what I’ve got. "Nice room,” he mumbled and grinned at me sarcastically. I haven't seen him in such a good mood ever before.

"Okay, so... uhm, like I already told you I had an idea," I said softly and his eyes stared into mine. The air was getting hotter immediately. His strong dark brown eyes are so beautiful and I was speechless for a second. He pretended to cough to get my attention to the real world again and I smiled. "Then why don't you just tell me what the idea is?" Sweetpea was in a playful mood. I noticed because he was playing with his fingers, tapping on my desk to create a rhythm.

"Ehm, yeah. Ms Oldbag is also an art teacher and we could get a little more creative and add some pictures. Not only of us, but of our hobbies and interests." I looked at Sweetpea and waited for his answer patiently.

His eyes were focused on my clothes instead of our poster. "Something is different about you today," he said, of course not answering to my project idea. But I liked that he recognized a change. I simply nodded and raised my eyebrow. "Yes, I'm wearing darker clothes. But ehm... let's talk about the project again."

Sweetpea still didn't seem to care because he was still staring at me. It was odd that he apparently liked my clothes so much and I felt weird. It is not the best feeling when somebody keeps their eyes on you.

My anxiety and self-consciousness were back again. Why does he keep looking at me? Why is he so relaxed? Why is he not answering to anything about the project? Why is he so distracted? How do I get him focused? What is up with me? What's up with these clothes? Does he really like them?

And then I was surprised to see him smile. Not a grin, not sarcastically. He really was smiling. "I like the idea. Of the project. And I like the idea of you trying to step out of your little game of pretending." Now I was even more confused.

"What game?" I asked, obviously not getting it.

"You want everyone to believe you’re the perfect girl from next door. Best student of the grade, never does a bad thing. Single since forever and not even trying to make new friends. Being shy and only focusing on school. Am I right?" he asked me but it sounded more like a fact. He got it, he understood me. Suddenly I felt a lot better than I did before he got here. I couldn't help but smile too and he winked at me.

I started to blush. Oh no, I blushed?!