Scattered Stars

Chapter 21

Dian

I had a dream about her last night. I am not sure if it was a dream or a memory of the two of us together, laughing and having the time of our lives like we normally did, I woke up with a smile spread on my face, but as soon reality dawned on me it felt as if a bucket of ice cold water was thrown in my face.

I needed to get my life in order, I refuse to have my life disrupted by someone else. I have let that happen for far too long it is time for me to take control of my own life. I need to get the old me back, not this weak Dian van Wyk who always has nothing to say, who sits around and mopes as life passes him by. Today I decide that I am no longer a fleeting object in my own reality, no, not anymore.

I picked up my phone, cracked screen and all. I used the phone to scroll down through my contacts-I saw that she sent me a message last night but I was not going to let myself check it, I was not going to let myself fall into the clutches of her dark web.

A part of me thought she owed me an explanation but another part of me knew if I gave her a chance I would forgive her almost immediately, and I would be back to seeking her for comfort and affection.

As I was scrolling through my contacts I found the cellphone number I was looking for, Victoria, my sister. I haven't seen or spoken to her since my father died, I know she blames me for his death wherever she is, and it's okay if she blames me. All I want is for her to talk to me, for me to know that she is alright, she doesn't have to be doing great or perfect all I want is for her to be still kicking and breathing.

So I pressed the call button and the phone rang.

"Hello." It felt so fucking good to hear her voice again, so good that I let out a sigh of relief.

"Hey, Vicky-"

"Hello...this is Victoria leave a message for me weirdos and depending on who you are I might call back... But don't to get your hopes too high. It's Victoria, signing out" Voicemail. It was her voicemail.

I squeezed the phone in my hand in order to avoid throwing it, even though it wouldn't make a difference considering the fact that I am replacing all my electronics today. I took a deep breath and released.

She doesn't want to talk to me it's fine.

I walked out of the guest room and headed to the other side of the house towards my bedroom.

As soon as I walked in I could feel the harsh cold winds of the winter blowing through where the sliding door used to be.

I had to sleep in the guestroom because I smashed the sliding door and there were pieces of glass everywhere. The carpet and some of the chairs in the room were wet from yesterday's thunderous rain. The clouds outside were dark and murky as they covered the sun and I felt as if they matched what I felt inside.

I walked to my closet and picked up my uniform, I was on my knees looking for my school shoes in the closet when Jabu walked in.

"Good morning." She said.

"Morning." I greeted back. I sat down and observed her, she was acting differently from before, more quiet and reserved, by now she would have been quoting the Bible about forgiveness or something about giving Naledi a second chance but she barely even looked me in the eyes.

"Madam says breakfast is ready. She aks you are downstairs in twenty minutes." That's the most formal she has ever been with me. She didn't call me fana or boy, what my mother said yesterday clearly affected her and I really don't like seeing her so stiff, so restrained.

"Okay, thank you." And she turned to leave but she stopped when I called her.

"Jabu... I like the new hair." She touched the few cornrows that were peeking from her head covering.