Scattered Stars

Chapter 22

Naledi

I had ten minutes before assembly so I decided to sit on the staircase that stood directly in front of the assembly point, so I could make a quick journey of getting to the front.
Luckily the assembly point (quad) had roofing so people were not getting wet.

The bits of water from the rain that were still stuck in kinks of my curly afro were dripping down my shirt into my back. For some reason, I could feel the presence of the water running down back but because I was so in my mind it didn't even register with me to even wipe the water away.

I reached for the sapphire star bracelet that I wore every single day after Dian bought it for me. Instead of feeling five-pointed charms, I ended up feeling a soft material. I looked down to see that I wasn't wearing the bracelet but wearing a bandage wrap instead; I then remembered yesterdays washing mishap.

So instead I fiddled with the infinity charm Buhle bought for me.

My mind travelled to Dian. The look in his eyes was pure hurt and hate. I didn't like seeing him like that and especially when his ominous gaze was directed at me.

I know I did him wrong, I should have told him about the newspaper article, but I was so caught up in living in our little bubble that I didn't even remember that article for long.

But my should haves and could haves won't change the situation.

I feel so bad but I can't help but selfishly think to myself that Dian needs to be a bit more understanding. He doesn't have to worry about half the shit I do. I know that half of you are sympathising with me the other is judging me and it's not fair that you judge me.

Walk a mile in my shoes- even with their thinning soles, and after walking a mile in my shoes take them off and get into the twin-sized bed that you sleep in with two other people whereas the fourth person can't even join you on the bed because it's too small. After you get into that bed, cover yourself with that one blanket out of the three that you and your family own. Then try to close your eyes and forget about the worry and pain you have to endure every single day of your life. Try to close your eyes and shut out your fears. Fears of having someone break into your home and having them steal from you, violet you or even just harm you for their own sick pleasure. After you shut out those fears and finally close your eyes go to sleep with the weight of the world on your shoulders -the weight of losing those you love and care about, and after that wake up just before the sun even thinks about rising, a few hours of sleep, it is better than nothing. In the wee hours of the morning walk outside and see tin cans mocking you one day and motivating you the other then make your way to the tap and carry twenty litres of water in a bucket and sometimes maybe even forty litres, head back inside and cook the bits of food that had you counting your cents to get, because if you don't count those cents Big John is coming for you -he is the big ugly monster that lays dormant for thirty days then comes out to steal from you. When the food has been served and everyone has eaten put on your uniform, the same uniform you have to wash every single day because it's the only one you own after that take a one hour journey to a school were your work is unappreciated and exploited. A place where you are constantly shut down for even trying to succeed. Then when the final bell of the day rings, go home and repeat the same regiment only this time add another kilo of weight, because...why not? That's how the world goes for the poor anyway because more money is needed because one of your siblings has a camp or because they need a book or because their socks have too many holes to be even considered a sock. Or even the fact that those very shoes you are walking in, their soles are so thin you can feel the asphalt of the road scrapping against your then again thinning socks. So get off your mighty fine horse and look me in the eyes instead of looking down on me.

I'm not trying to ensue pity I don't need your pity what I need is an education so I can get my family out of the dusty poverish slums of South Africa.