LIKE I NEVER LEFT °[KathNiel] ✓COMPLETE

22. Lucky

Four

I've been fighting with my own temper but I just can't help it. I'm frustrated that she's not telling me whatever the reason is for her crying. It breaks my heart to know that I'm hurting her again. The worse is, I don't even know what I did wrong this time. And she isn't telling me, that's what makes things frustrating. To avoid getting angry or be carried away by my emotions and say mean things at the worse, I prefer to shut up and not talk to her.

"Tomorrow will be the last day of enrollment."She talks to me after our dinner. "Are you going to drive me to school or do you already change your mind?"

Muntik ko na siyang masagot ng tanungin niya ako no'n. Tiningnan ko siya ng masama pero ngumiti lang siya. Nakakaasar dahil ang hirap magpigil na huwag madala sa ngiti niya. Buti nalang, lumapit si Darryl at nagyayang makipaglaro.

"Nagbibiro lang naman ako." She withdraws while following me and Darryl to the bedroom. Kapag kasi nakikipaglaro na 'tong anak namin, in an hour or less, matutulog na 'yan. That's how I make her sleep. That or sing a song for her. "Palmer, kausapin mo 'ko." Amara presses, pouting her lips like she used to do before to win over me.

"Daddy, I'm sleepy." Nilingon ko ang mommy niya na nakasandal sa may pintuan, pinapanood kami.

"You should sleep already." I softly say to our daughter when I return my attention to her.

"You two should stop fighting."

"Baby, we're not." Sagot ko kaagad. Lumapit naman si Amara at umupo sa kabilang side ng kama.

"Mom and dad are not fighting. You go to sleep na."

"Hmm." She gasps. "Goodnight mommy. Goodnight daddy." Her voice trails off as she slowly drifts to sleep. Not long after five minutes, I get up from the bed and motion to leave.

"Uuwi ka na?" She asks before I reach the doorway. I just shove her off and decide to leave but she speaks up again. "Nakakaasar ka na. Kanina pa kita kinakausap, hindi mo 'ko pinapansin. Ba't ba big deal sa'yo ang pag-iyak ko? Kailangan ba sasabihin ko sa'yo lahat?"

Nang tingnan ko siya, kinakagat niya ang ibabang labi niya. She does that when she's at the brink of crying but is holding back her tears. Damn it. My heart is melting and is twinging in pain at the same time.

"Ayokong umiiyak ka lalo na kung ako ang dahilan."

I can no longer ignore her. This type of disposition of hers is just making me vulnerable. I heave a deep breath to hurl off my frustration before I walk to her.

"What I did in the past should be enough Amara. Hindi ko na mapapatawad ang sarili ko kapag masaktan pa kita ulit." Pahayag ko matapos hawakan ang mga kamay niya. "Please tell me, did I do something? Alam ko e, alam kong ako ang dahilan kung bakit ka umiyak." 

"You didn't do anything, okay? It's nothing." She answers, avoiding my gaze. That just proves it. She's lying.

"Tsk. Amara naman e. Iiyak ka para sa wala? Will you stop lying for once—"

"Mahal parin kita." She snaps, leaving me tight-lipped and stunned. Did I just hear that right?

"I still love you. That's why." She repeats and tears begin to stride off her beautiful face. "I still love you and I want us to start again."

"A—Amara." Is all I manage to say after a few moments of silence.. I am utterly in shock and disbelief. Sobbing silently, she looks away. Oh man, her face is so hard to resist. She's just too beautiful, too innocent, too perfect and I am so damn lucky.

"Come here baby. Hug me all night." Nakangiting wika ko. Parang batang sumimangot siya bago yumakap sa'kin.

Whoa. Someone should come and pinch me. Amara still loves me. That's all I want in this world and it's happening.