LIKE I NEVER LEFT °[KathNiel] ✓COMPLETE

2. Drive

At six in the morning, I am already awake and I see myself heading toward our basement. A curve forms on my lips as I eye my Audi.

"How are you, mate?" I murmur while I uncover the shiny thing. I don't know how long this thing was kept here. I don't think anyone in the house uses it. They all have their own cars.

"Up so early."

"Hey dad." I greet as he strides close to me. As I spot grease on his hands and arms, I assume he is fixing some things here in the basement, probably his motor bike or his car.

"I heard you and Five last night." He says as he gives me a hand in taking the cover off my car. "Four, you need to take it slow. Just be patient. Things are going to be better soon."

I don't know dad. I actually don't seem to belong here honestly. But I couldn't say that to him. 

"Your car's still okay. I check this all the time." He professes. "Just get the key in my study if you want to use it. I have to give your mother a hand in the kitchen." He says and gestures to leave.

"Dad." He stops and looks back at me. His eyes are expectant but I choke on words and I don't know what to say.

"I'm all ears, son."

I breathe relief after hearing him say that. Sumandal ako sa kotse habang nag-iisip ng sasabihin.

"Is—is it true?" I clear my throat since it's like something's stuck there. "About tita Carlene and mom?"

Dad joins me. Patting me on the shoulder, he answers my question.

"We never heard about them honestly for seven years." He begins. "Sinubukan namin ng mommy mo na kausapin si Tobi at Carlene. They left immediately after the..." He pauses, meaning not to mention about the wedding. "We tried to contact them in ways we know but they just  want to end everything and never to hear anything from us again."

My chest narrows, making it hard for me to breathe. I am well aware of what I did. I don't want to recall it but it's just perhaps inevitable. 

"I'm sorry dad."

"We don't need that son." He says with a meaningful smile.

"I don't think I can do it." I reply cowardly. "I guess her life's so much better without me now." I sigh, looking at the surface.

"Maybe, she does have a good life now but she still deserves an apology or maybe an explanation." He insists which sounds ethically correct.

A few minutes after dad strides off, I argue with my subconscious about seeing Amara. I honestly want to see her. Hindi ko nga lang alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko kung sakaling magkakaharap kami. I don't think I will ever be prepare to see her again. Isn't it why I left?

In the end, I see myself driving down the road. It becomes nostalgic— remembering unwelcome thoughts of me and Amara in this car. These streets, though differ from the last time I saw them, bring back memories of our night and daylight rides together. It's odd. I can still hear Mara's laugh inside the car. That's what she always does. 

This is not good. I have to get a new car while I'm here. To get my mind the distraction it needs, I turn the car stereo on and it blows FM Static's Tonight which Mara loves to sing inside the car during our drives. This is getting annoying so I turn the radio off and listen to Mara's laugh in my head.

Malapit na ako sa bahay nila ngunit binalot ng pagdadalawang isip at kaba ang puso ko kaya sa halip na dumiretso ay bumalik ako sa dinaanan ko. Driven by exasperation, I whack my hands on the steering wheel until I feel it getting sore.