LIKE I NEVER LEFT °[KathNiel] ✓COMPLETE

33. Love

Amara

"Daddy?"

Napaurong ako nang marinig ang pagak na boses ng anak ko. Mabilis na pinahiran ko ang luha ko ngunit patuloy ito sa pagbagsak. Tumalikod na lamang ako para hindi makita ni Darryl ang aking pag-iyak. Alam kong magkayakap sila ngayon ng daddy niya.

"I already forgave you, dad. But can you tell me why you're not there? Did something come up at work? It's work, right?"

Hinayaan ko lang silang dalawang mag-usap. Pumunta ako ng balcony at doon umiyak ng tahimik. Hindi ko na alam kung ano ang dapat na gawin ko. Hindi ko naman pwedeng ilayo sa kanya ang anak namin. Darryl adores her father so much. I know her heart will be broken if I take her away from her father. We can't leave Four. I cannot take my daughter with me. Pero natatakot ako. Bumalik lahat ng sakit, takot at pangamba na muli nya akong iiwan gaya ng ginawa niya sa'kin noon at ng ginawa niya sa anak namin kahapon. Hindi ko na kakayanin kapag nasaktan pa ulit si Darryl. Hindi ko kaya.

"Mara."

Mabilis na pinunasan ko ang luha ko bago siya hinarap.

"How is she?" I ask, not looking at him.

"She's fine. She just wants me to take her to the park." Tumango ako. "I'm sorry, love." I bite my lower lip to stop my tears from falling but I fail. Hearing his voice sounding so sincere is just bringing me to tears. This time, I feel forced to look into his eyes. "I'm sorry, Mara." Pag-uulit niya saka ako niyakap. "Maniwala ka sa'kin, hindi ko maalala kung ano ang nangyari. All I remember is, I drove back to school and then I just... I just woke up in my room. Hindi ko alam kung bakit nasa bahay ako."

"Ano?" Napailing ako. What a lame reason. It is so damn lame.

"I know it sounds ridiculous but it's what happened."

Okay. It's so much better Amara than to hear him say that he woke up in another woman's room. Tinanggap ko ang dahilan niya na sobrang hirap namang intindihin. The following days after that turn out to be fine. Four is extra caring and he spends all day with me and his daughter. He doesn't even take calls from work. Somehow, I forget everything because it's for the best.

For that entire week as well, Four and I are making videos and covers for his youtube channel. We do it with our little angel. It's all Darryl's idea by the way. My heart is so happy, is so full. Sobrang masaya, nawala lahat ng sakit na naramdaman ko sa mga nakaraang araw. Ang saya lang kasi ni Darryl habang nakakasabay niya ang daddy niya sa pagkanta. We finish about seven songs in just four days. Tatlo pa lang ang na-upload namin dahil hindi pa natapos ni Four sa pag-edit 'yong iba.

"Mommy."

"Yes, baby." Nag-aayos ako ng mga laruan sa loob ng kwarto niya. "Aalis na kayo ng daddy mo?" Well, they set a date for the entire day—date na silang dalawa lang. Alam kong bumabawi lang si Four kaya hindi na ako nagpilit na sumama.

"You're not angry that you're going to be left alone here, right?"

"Of course not, honey." I answer cheerfully. "When I was just as little as you, your papa-lolo also took me to dates with him. Hindi namin kasama si mama-lola mo. Kami lang din dalawa." Kwento ko rito.

"Alright then. Don't be jealous, okay. I'll take care of dad, I promise. No one is going to steal him from us." Why do I feel something else when she said that? Ugh. Amara, no negative thoughts.

"Yes, baby. Daddy is just ours. Now you go and don't keep your daddy waiting. You enjoy the day, okay?"

"Okay, mom."

Pinagpatuloy ko ang paglilinis at pag-aayos ng mga gamit sa kwarto namin hanggang sa puntahan ako ni ate Nina at ipinaalam sa'king may bisita ako sa baba. Nagpalit lang ako ng malinis na shirt at bumaba na kaagad. Ayaw kong pinaghihintay ang mga bisita.