used | JJK

Chapter 6

The date went pretty well. Jungkook dropped you back home safe. You were gonna get out of the car when he suddenly grabbed your hand. You raised your eyebrows at him.

“Do you wanna be my girlfriend?” He asked.

“Um, well… are you sure?” You asked him.

He was not expecting that question at all.
“What do you mean? Of course I'm sure.”

“Give me some time to think then”

Jungkook smiled and nodded. You got out of the car and waved at him. He left.

You got into your house and heaved a sigh. You didn't know what to do, where to start.

On this date you thought about a lot of things. More than a date it was more like a spiritual journey for you. In the middle of the date you got this super crazy idea and more over the wine you drank just messed up your brain somehow.

You actually considered dating Jungkook. All that Jackson and your sister bullshit was actually getting to you these past days and dating Jungkook was the perfect plan you could come up with.

Actually you needed a guy like Jungkook. He was manly. He was tough. He would do anything to get what he wants. And when this kind of a guy was practically on your lap what exactly were you waiting for? You had the plan, the tool. You just needed to execute it.

You were nervous. You had never done this kind of a thing before. Jackson was your first boyfriend. Dating someone else right after your breakup was something you would usually judge.

But you knew that you couldn't pass this chance up. You needed to date Jungkook. You needed to date him because you felt that it was definitely time that everyone knew that they should stop using you. Yes, you will make everyone regret.

*********

Jungkook regretted the plan already. Not because he was guilty or anything but because he found you dead-ass annoying.

He thought it would be easy to pretend-date you because even though he hated doing all these kinds of things with someone he doesn't love, he though that since you were Ji-eun's sister, you would at least be a little like her.

But he was so wrong. You were entirely different from your sister. And that's why he hated everything about you. The way you smiled wasn't like your sister. The way you talked wasn't like your sister. You didn'tlook like her in the least.

He found you to be snuck-up and too sarcastic. He found your sense of humour bad. Even the way you laughed sucked.

He was dying to talk to you about your sister. He would ask you subtle questions that he thought would make you start talking about your sister. But you avoided those questions pretty skilfully. He hated this too.

And Jungkook wanted to kill himself when he asked you to be his girlfriend. Those were special words he reserved only for Ji-eun noona.
But he had to say that to you and you were the first girl he said that to.

Of course he dated girls before when his hyungs pestered him. He never asked any of them out. Those girls asked him out, dated him, found out where his heart and mind actually is, and then left him. He never, ever grew emotionally attached to any of them.

But Jungkook was surprised about one thing. He was surprised as to how quickly he hated you. He never felt such strong emotions for anyone. And even though he hated you in such an intense way, he actually knew deep inside that he couldn't find a proper reason.

After all, he was the one using you. If not anything he should feel guilt and sympathy towards you. So why this hatred?
He blindly loved your sister and he blindly hated you……..

*********

You walked into the university and coincidence or not the first thing you noticed was Jackson whom you avoided eye contact with.

“Y/N-ah, you are not even gonna look at me now.”

You looked at him.

“You don't even smile at me anymore” he said.

‘How! You took it when you left.’

You fake smiled at him. “How are things between you and my sister?” You wanted to make the situation less awkward but you just made it much more worse because of the spite coming out from those words.

“We are fine..”

“Hey Y/N” You saw Jungkook jog upto you suddenly. He actually didn't want to but when he saw Jackson, suddenly his interest spiked. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yup, you?” You smiled sweetly.

“Of course.” He too smiled back at you. You both maintained eye contact for sometime. You both had your reasons.

But as for Jackson, he just stood there analysing your body language. He knew you like the back of his hand and the way you acted around Jungkook made him somewhat …. he couldn't find a word for it. Concerned? Self-conscious?
Uneasy? Jealo- nope he wasn't jealous or anything.  He wanted to protect you actually. You have always been a bit slow around men even though you denied it. You acted like you knew everything.

Take Namjoon for example. Jackson hated that guy. I mean who couldn't guess that guy obviously had a crush on you. It was so obvious from the way he looked at you. Though you told him multiple times that Namjoon wasn't interested in women, he wasn't convinced.

In his eyes, you were this little thing that he wanted to protect, that he wanted to show his affection to. He remembered the first time he saw you, you were so lost. A girl who was just standing there waiting for people to tell her what to do. He imagined how horrible it would be if you were to end up in the wrong hands.

That's why he dated you. He loved protecting you and taking care of you. He was happy with that kind of a feeling. The feeling of giving things without any selfishness. He thought that was what love was all about. But he realized he was wrong when he saw your sister. He realized that love could also be about receiving things. Your sister made him realize how it felt to be in the receiving end. He loved your sister. That's why he left you. 

And he admits that everything, everything was his fault. He wanted to protect you but look what he did to you. He never wanted to use you. He only had good intentions but that ended up terribly.

This was one of the main reason he was scared. He knew if you got the time to heal, you would be back to normal. But if you were to be used again, if the same things happen once again, you would break. You would break badly. That was the last thing he wanted. To see something he cared for so deeply, shatter.

That's why, with much concern Jackson eyes the guy standing beside you.
“Who's this?” He tried to sound like it was normal.

“Oh sorry.” You smiled again. Jackson's heart beat quickened.

“Jungkook, this is Jackson, my
...friend.
Jackson, this is Jungkook, my boyfriend.”

Jackson and Jungkook, both smiled at each other. But deep inside they could sense the coldness of the gaze their eyes shared.