used | JJK

Chapter 32

Jungkook slowly opened his eyes to look at your sleeping face. They radiated a kind of peaceful innocence that he didn't want to share with anyone. He imagined waking up to your face for the rest of his life.

You slowly opened your eyes. Jungkook couldn't help but hold back a smile. But his smile soon faded when he saw the confusion spread across your face.

The confusion in your face was slowly replaced by an expression what Jungkook had feared the most. Regret.

You quickly pushed him away and tumbled out of the bed naked. You tried to find your clothes all the while desperately trying to cover your body from the one man you had given it all away to. You were ashamed. You knew that you had to control yourself last night but you couldn't and now you were gonna hurt him more.

“Jungkook” you said finally finding your clothes. “I'm sorry. This wasn't supposed to happen.”

“What do you mean?” He quickly got out of his trance and stepped out of his bed.

“It was a mistake. It was my mistake. Let's just forget it.” You said trying to wear your clothes, all the while looking down. You couldn't face him.

“A mistake?” Jungkook's voice got shaky. You feared the worst and looked upto see him. His eyes were teary. He was still naked and when you looked at him you could remember the scenes from last night playing out so freshly in your mind. You would never forget it, even after a thousand years. But it was too late.

You couldn't stand there and see him hurt, all the while knowing you were the reason for his pain. “I've got to go.”

You were about to the exit the room when he pulled you back into a hug. His head was dug into the crook of your neck.

“Don't go. Please. I love you.” You could feel wetness in the part of your neck where he had put his head. There was a knot forming at the back of your throat. You were hurting someone you love.

“It's too late….” You trailed off.

“It's not at all late. We could start everything over. I'll ask you out more romantically. I'll take you out on more dates. I'll kiss you more often. I'll make fun of you more often. I'll tell you how beautiful you look more often. I'll show you how much I love you. We could do so many things together. We-we could play overwatch or…or hide and seek, you like that, don't you? I'll even eat all your pancakes and won't complain.” He chuckled and so did you.

“But just stay. Please.” Jungkook was begging you. You wanted to just pull him into a kiss and spend the rest of your life with him.

“But… but I'm leaving for America….. today afternoon.” Deep down something in you told you, you would regret this decision very much. But you couldn't afford to stay back. You had already arranged everything there. If this was a kdrama, you could just throw everything away but this wasn't one, you had taken a decision already and you had to stick to it and face the consequences. You quit your university and applied for one in America.

Jungkook lifted his head from the crook of your neck. “America, why?” He looked at you blankly before his eyes turned dark. “Oh.” He quickly pushed you away.

“Because of Namjoon.” He said turning away. His tone was cold and spiteful.

“What? Namjoon? No, not becau-”

“Wow Y/N.” He turned back and when he did, he wasn't that vulnerable man who was in your arms a couple of seconds ago.

He clapped his hands and scoffed.“I get it. You choose him. I mean nothing more to you than dirt on your feet. You should go to him.”

He was misunderstanding. The reason you were going to America had nothing to do with Namjoon. You had decided way earlier, during the beginning of your plan itself, that you would leave for America after everything was over. You had been saving up.
“No Jungkook, what's wrong with you? It has noth-”

“Go.” He screamed at you.

You fell silent. Tears threatened to fall. You bit your lip in a weak attempt to get a grip on them.

“Go. Get out. Go with him and don't ever come back to me. The only thing you have done is hurt me, woman. Get out.” He pushed you out of his room. He did not mean a single word he had said. But he couldn't let his pride just fly out of the window like that. He had begged you and all you said was that you couldn't stay.

You got out of his house. You released your lower lip from between your teeth and along with it, all the tears that you had held in successfully. Your knees felt too weak so you just crouched on the road. You were thankful no one was there to see you. You wished you could just run back to him and tell him it was all a prank. But you couldn't. 'I wanna go back.'

That is the worst part of life, I guess. Not being able to do the things that you want to do, only because you couldn't find the right timing.

********
You had reached the the Seoul airport and was searching for Namjoon. Namjoon had come to Seoul last night. You told him you could come to America all by yourself but he insisted. He said he had some thing to do in Seoul anyway.

You quickly spotted his tall frame but to your surprise he was kissing someone? One step closer, your heart started racing fast.

Namjoon was kissing A GUY? Not just any guy…

“Jin” you shouted. Namjoon and Jin and all the other people in the airport got shocked due to your unpleasant shriek. They looked in your direction only to find you jumping, hopping and skating your way over to them, throwing your bags in different direction.

“Heelllooo. So when did this happen?” you yelled, your pitch high and annoying as ever.

The two boys blushed.

Namjoon said, “Control yourself, Y/N.”

You stopped smiling. You took a deep breath.

“I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I told you that you were gay. But nobody believed me. Ahh now who's the real loser?” You three were getting weird glares from the other people. “And I also told you that you had a thing for Jin.” You winked at him.

Namjoon wanted to stuff a sock into your mouth but realized you would swallow it and continue yelling anyway. So why bother?

The two love birds bid adieu to each other. You were waiting in the lobby. Namjoon came and sat next to you. He noticed how your eyes were swollen with all the crying.

“I won't ask you what happened while I was away. But I'll ask you this. Do you love Jungkook?”

You were quiet. You looked at him and smiled. The tears that were forming in the corner of your eyes gave Namjoon the answer.

“I would tell you to stay. But you probably won't listen. But I always wanted to tell you this. Before I left for America, I liked you for a long time.….. More than as a friend.”

You looked at him. Now you realized why others kept telling you he was straight. Dumbass.

“But I could never tell you how much I liked you because I thought it was always too late.” He smiled.

“But now that I think about it. The problem wasn't that it was too late. The problem was that I was a coward. I just convinced myself that it was too late because I was too scared to do anything. So I wanted to tell you one thing Y/N.”

You leaned closer to him and he looked into your eyes meaningfully.
“That you will be one stupid. ass. bitch. if you are gonna leave him behind.”

“Wow. Thank you very much. Friend.” You patted his thigh showing your gratitude and stressing on the word ‘Friend’.

You both broke out into fits of laughter.

“Hmm..” you considered for a moment. “But you know, I still have to go to America, right?”

“But that doesn't mean you can't come back, right?” He smiled.

You nodded.