Bruises and Bitemarks

Chapter 30

A/N: Hi everyone! I'm so grateful for each and every one of you, who still follows the story (which will soon end), and sorry for the long break I had to take, but now I'm back at it, planning to write the story till' the end of it. So I just wanted to say thank you, because it really does mean a lot, every comment, every read or vote. 

Have fun reading!

After a while, we went up to the house, and we started cleaning. It was hard not to notice, how nonchalant Eric was while tidying up... Well, Vincent told me, he only ever started having this crazy OCD thing, when he realised that Ramsey is messy. But still, looking at him now, I could less likely see Eric than Rams. It was so weird, and I didn't know how I feel about that. I somehow imagined, if he ever gets help, he would be more like his calm self, but I suppose I was wrong. But how much did he change? After all, he killed two-man without a blink in the basement. So what does it actually mean, that 'he is he'... Who is he?

"Darling, a picture lasts longer" Ramsey broke me out of my thoughts, only for me to realise that I was staring right at him, instead of cleaning the floor. 

"I'm sorry, it's nothing. I just zoned out" I lied, getting back to the 'blood everywhere' problem. He just gave me a knowing smirk, as he got back to rolling up the carpet and such things. There was blood on literally everything, we had some work to do, and I was kind of glad. It made me relax as I did this sort of a monotone work, and it helped me have an excuse to not talk to him, after everything that had just gone down. Did I confess to him? He did not say it back though. But neither did I say it out loud. Do I love him? I mean, this him? I hardly even know who that man is, it's so hard to figure out who's standing in front of me. 

"You seem so uneasy, Kitten. Are you scared of me?" as I glanced up into his eyes, out gazes met, and I found myself not really knowing what to say. 

"Not exactly. I'm just unsure of what to expect." I admitted, "It's hard for me to imagine, who you are right now." my words sounded odd to say, even though I couldn't word it better. He offered me a smile attempting to comfort me, and he stopped wiping the blood off the counter, all-together. 

"Okay, so do you remember how you treated me before you have known about the two-personalities-problem?" 

"You mean when I was distant and rebellious?" I mocked, even though I knew that's not what he meant. Of course, I do remember, but now that I know all of these I can't just pretend that I don't. 

"I'll get used to it. This isn't our biggest problem, I still need to explain this to Vincent" I changed the subject because I really didn't have much to add. No matter how he would explain himself to me, it was too odd for me at the moment, especially after I kind of confessed to him. 

His eyes dropped from my face and he sucked in a breath slowly. 

"You can't... You can't call Vincent" he said after a while of heavy silence. 

"Why can't I? He has to know that I'm okay." 

"But he will also know that I'm okay." he argued, but I didn't get his point at all. I raised an eyebrow but he avoided my gaze or even my face and walked to the sink to wash a few unimportant mugs. 

"Rams, I'm not afraid of your little brother's punishments. What is he gonna do? Ground me?" I giggled lightly, but I didn't ease the mood one bit as it seems. 

"He can't know I'm alive. Not yet" 

"Why would he think you are..." my words got stuck in my mouth, as the realization came to me and I almost instinctively shook my head. No, this can't be. I'm not willing to find out one more person around me is just bat-shit insane. 

"He sent those men?" I questioned doubtingly, even though I didn't see a reason why would Eric lie about that "There is no way" 

"Look, kitten it's fine, I'm not angry at him" Rams turned to me as he probably heard my voice and recognized that I will probably lose it soon. I kept shaking my head violently as if this intense denial would help anything.

"He wouldn't do that. He loves you... he would never want to hurt you" I argued, feeling my eyes tear up. I've had just about enough... Somehow everything that had just happened in the past few hours, and in my whole life, started to circle and close up around me. I could almost feel the massive grasp of this panic, this overwhelming madness that became of everything I have touched, or had. 

"Amy, they had a key to my house. Only Vincent does... And also, they called him twice while I was there..." his face didn't betray any kind of anger, only slight, repressed pain. But not mine, I wasn't so delicate about this whole thing. I couldn't wrap my mind around it. I've killed a man, I helped to kill two others, and I'm in love with a murderer, my own torturer, and my only other person, living thing to lean on was also a back-stabbing little snake. But then again, Ramsey is a murderer, and he just about ruined Vincent's life, he had all the rights to be mad, but why now, why when he was getting help? It makes no sense.

Unless... Unless Ramsey is lying to me. So I would stay with him, and not tell Vincent anything about my whereabouts. My doubts slowly killed all the trust that I had put into the man in front of me, and I back further away from him. 

"I'm going home" 

His face dropped, his eyes somehow darkening with an unknown emotion, that I frankly too afraid to guess. 

"Vincent's house is your home?" his voice had a certain edge to it that had let me know, I just fucked up pretty hard. 

"Well I live there"

"You can't be serious right now. You almost died because of him" he hissed, taking a step in my direction, but as I mirrored his action, only backwards, he stopped. 

"I can't know that" I snapped, letting it slip out as my emotions took over. My heart almost broke, watching his expression turn from confused to disappointed. 

"You said you love me" he reminded me quietly, his voice barely hitting enough of a volume for me to hear, yet it seemed to echo in my mind. 

"I do. But I also know you." I laughed hysterically "You never gave me a reason to trust you. For all I know, you want to lock me down into the basement again. Or not. You just wanna play a normal couple for now, but I can't know that you merely tell me the bare minimum of what I have to know. You failed to inform me for a month, about that small, tiny detail, that you have a psychopath side. I have to find out everything about you on my own, so yeah, sorry if I might double-check a few things you tell me." as I was renting, he made his way towards me, and I kept backing away until my back hit the front door. 

"II need you to stay" he whispered, trying to lean down to me, as he raised my chin, forcing me to look into his worried, stern gaze. 

For a second I forgot to breathe. I wanted to stay with him so badly now, now that I felt this sense of security, that I always did when he came so close. When I could only feel him and nothing else around us. But, it was a mere illusion of safety, and I had to remind myself of that. 

"I will tell him I was drinking with Lucy" I replied, looking away from him. 

"It's not safe with him now" he argued, and he leaned in to kiss me but at the last second I turned my head closing my eyes just to not see his expression. I didn't want to know how he feels because I was sure I would turn back. I reached for the doorknob, breaking out of this cornered position, and escaped the door as I replied: 

"It's never safe with you"