Bruises and Bitemarks

Chapter 3 - white chocolate?

I have been through a lot. Not extreme abuse, but my former father bet me up a few times before I developed the hobby of not going home.

I believe I know how a hit feels like. A punch, a real punch. And I survived it, I could survive it again, without even lowering my chin, or losing my classic smile.

People get used to things, thinking they can't be surprised anymore when someone comes along and shows something they haven't seen before. Something terrifying, that I couldn't get over in the last 26 hours.

I felt defeated. I haven't felt defeated since I was literally a helpless child. But now, so utterly and unbearably defeated. The moment I realized that psycho, could kill me, or do worse things... That he could push my limits just for the fun of it. At that moment, I had to see through his nice features and see the potential of his cruelty... It was just as if I heard what he could do to me, I felt powerless. I was afraid, I was so god damn scared I was ready to beg him in any possible way he pleases.

I hate this feeling, I hate to even have to remember it. But the fact that he won the fight doesn't mean he won the war. He never will.

"Please Nana. Eat." Hanna finally spoke up, as I just blankly stared at my plate. I refused to eat my meals until they dismiss Ramsey from being my supervisor. It wasn't a childish threat I was damn serious. I'd rather die than have him again in front of me. I never hated anyone so much.

I never feared someone like this before.

And the part that was utterly disturbing that I've never desired anyone so unlogically. Of course, he had the dirty blonde hair, the gray orbs that made a girl dizzy, and the smile of the devil, but I've met bad guys before. Even hot ones. And though everyone has a sweet spot for them, I'm not stupid. They are dangerous, you don't fuck them, and for that matter, I never did.

"Oh, now you talk to me? How sweet of you." I wanted to point out how much of a fucking betrayal it was, that he refused to pay any attention to me the other day.

Not as if right now, she wasn't being a letdown. She saw how I looked. He could've noticed how much damage that sicko did to me, not just my body but my mind, but she refused to see, she refused to notice.

Well, that's it for the sweet people. They pretend to care for everyone, but they aren't there for anyone.

Hanna really is a lot like my mother was.

"Dr. Ramsey will be utterly upset if you don't eat." she announced as if I wouldn't know...

" So that's his name. That explains a lot, if I had a name like that I would be a sadistic asshole as well." Hanna wasn't so pleased with my remark, as I was. Ramsey reminded me of an evil villain name... I wasn't trying to hurt him but... Okay, I was trying to hurt him.

"Hanna goes away, I won't eat. Give it a rest." I sighed, laying back as I sat next to the wall... I winced in pain as my sore back got in contact with the harsh stonewall.

"Dr. Ramsey..."

"Dr. Ramsey can shove this meal up his ass, for all I care" I burst out before that stupid woman could've said anything else. I was terribly upset, and right now I had no intention of having a nice conversation with the nurse, I used to like.

She's a rat, when it comes to danger, huh?

"Maybe if you'd just go along with his sessions, he would go easier on you." her advice left me speechless. Really? So this is my fault now, right?

"Maybe if he wouldn't be a damn psychopath, I would go alo..." my words got stuck in my stupid mouth, which I wished I never opened, as Mr. Ramsey walked into the cell, with a rather amused expression on his face, as if he was really curious what I wanted to say. He sat down in his usual armchair, glaring at Hannah 'till she disappeared from the scene.