8 Party

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It was weekend again. This week had been going by so slow. Monty and I had been taken back to square one, witch means we ignored each other at school and in acting class we were talking like we didn't really know each other. Truth is, I missed him. I didn't realize how much time I actually spent talking to him or thinking about him until now. And I certainly didn't realize how much that time actually meant to me. But I refused to be the one to come crawling back. I know I was right about that I said. I just hoped he knew that too.

Jenna, who is slightly less invisible than me, had been invited to a party this weekend. She was begging me to come with her, but I didn't really want to go. "Come on, please. I barely know anyone there, and I don't wanna end up alone and bored.", she begged me. This was one of the few times we were hanging out after school. She was helping me go through my closet and toss away any clothes that had seen it's prime a long time ago. I didn't really care, but I knew this was the kind of thing she likes doing so I went with her idea. I could really use a cleanup in there anyway. "I don't know anyone at all. And I wasn't invited", I said, watching her throw another t-shirt in the garbage-pile. "He said I could bring a friend, so you kind of are invited", she said, giving me a begging smile. "Please, please, pleasepleasepleeeeeease. For me?", she kept begging, pouting her lip and flickering her long black lashes. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea? I never do anything like that, and I could really use some more people in my life. If I had actually lost Monty for good, maybe I should invest more time in the friends I already have? Maybe I'll even make some new ones. And It would make Jenna really happy. "Fine", I sighed, and held up my hands to signal my surrender. "Yes! And I know just what you're gonna wear", She cheered.

Like a blink of an eye it was Saturday night and Jenna and I was standing in front of a big house. Who ever owned his house, or any house in this neighborhood, obviously had money. "Ready?", she grinned. "No... let's do it", I replied and we went inside. The house was full of kids I recognized from school, but I seemed to be just as invisible as always. Jenna on the other hand was not. We barely made it through the door before several people greeted her, so I excused myself to go get a drink. I managed to find a can of beer and thought to myself that if this is where I'm spending my night I need some alcohol. That was pretty much the last I saw of Jenna. She smiled and waved from a far a few times during the night, and I waved back pretending to have a good time. Half and hour after we arrived I heard some commotion in the living room. I was in the kitchen helping myself to another beer, and looked out to see what was going on. A group of boys had arrived and was very much making their presence known. I recognized them all. It was the entire baseball-team. And, like we could feel each others presence, our eyes met straight away. This was obviously the last place he expected to see me. I withdrew back to the kitchen and exhaled deeply. I'm going to need something stronger than this beer! Luckily for me it was a lot to choose from.

I drowned my sorrows in liquor until I started feeling comfortable enough to mingle. Monty was following me with his eyes as I stumbled around in the crowd of people. I was feeling pretty good. I engaged in conversation with several people and even got hit on by a few guys. Monty was squinting his eyes from across the room. If I didn't know any better I'd say he was jealous. Eventually I started getting dizzy and headed out for some air. The back yard was huge with a large swimming pool in the center. As I walked out someone inside started yelling for people to join "spin the bottle", so most people headed back inside. I flopped down on a garden chair and enjoyed a break from the loud music and constant buzz of voices. I was just me outside, and a couple making out in the pool. I was watching them like it was a reality show. I didn't mean to be a creep, but it was one of those times where it was impossible to look away. Suddenly someone flopped down in the chair next to mine. It was Monty. We didn't even look at each other, but I knew it was him. You could cut the tension with a knife. We just sat there in silence for a long time, not acknowledging each others existence. He was the first one to break the silence. "Wow, that is a lot of saliva", he said, and we both bursted out laughing. The tension was officially broken. "You're really gonna make me say it?", he asked after the laughter died out. "Say what?", I asked back. He sighed. "That I miss you, and I'm sorry", he admitted, looking at the ground. "I miss you too", I assured him, "and I am sorry. Not about what I said, but how I said it. I didn't want to hurt you or create an argument, but I stand by what I said". "Fair enough", he replied. "I really wish you would just be confident enough to stand up for yourself. To be who you are not step on others to make yourself "cooler". And I get that it's hard and complicated, I really do, but you don't have to do those things. You are smart, funny, a great baseball-player, a really talented actor, you're kind, deep and really good looking. You don't need to scare people into liking you, because when you're just being yourself you are impossible to dislike. People will see that". "Thanks", he smiled. The smile was genuine, but I could detect sadness in his eyes. "I just thought you should know , that's how I see you", I smiled at him.

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