Bloom

18. painful drops

Zephaniah

By the time we reached grandma's house, I was feeling exhausted. Too much information and impressions of the day had gotten into my mind, tiring me out. I really wanted to sleep in my bed, but I knew I had to wait a few more hours before I could.

This was part of the tradition, though. Dad would take mum out for dinner on their anniversary and I'd have dinner at grandma's. I, sadly, wasn't feeling like it today, but I wouldn't ever tell them.

"Hi, Zephaniah. Come inside, love. Dinner is already cooked. Grandpa, aunt Waliyha and Zarah are home too. And Cooper," Grandma gave me a kiss on my forehead as I quietly entered her house, glancing at mum and dad.

I hadn't said much after they had given me the ultrasound, other than that I said I was happy, but I knew it hadn't sounded too convincing, as I simply hadn't figured out my thoughts and feelings yet.

I just needed more time, sometimes. They knew, everybody did.

"Have fun," I said quietly, giving my parents a tiny smile and wave.

"Thank you, you too, Zephaniah. We'll pick you up around eleven thirty, probably, okay?" Dad informed me. I nodded, slowly walking over to the living room, where Cooper greeted me with licks immediately. I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face for a while, wanting to disappear in his carefree life.

Aunt Waliyha stood up and kissed my cheek when I walked over to her, their way of greeting me. "If that isn't my sweet nephew. How are you, Zeph?"

"Good," I answered, smiling shyly at Zarah, my four years old cousin, who wanted to play peek- a- boo, but I felt too awkward for that as grandpa was staring at me.

"Aren't you greeting me anymore?" Grandpa Yaser chuckled, tugging at my hair.

My cheeks flushed red and I glanced at him, not understanding if it was a joke or a sarcastic comment. "Hi, granddad."

"Just teasing, Zeph. How was today? How'd they like your present?" He questioned, making me blink a little faster as when I became tired- I couldn't process things at my own tempo, which was already slower than usual people's thinking.

"Uhm, good." I fiddled with my fingers, glancing up when Grandma re-entered the room and sat down across me.

She could tell I was tired, so she left me be. "Let's pray for our meal," once we had prayed, she stuffed my plate full, knowing my appetite was usually big.

I stared at the meat, potatoes out of the oven and cauliflower. Somehow, my fork stayed untouched, my appetite not coming up. Mum was pregnant. They were getting their baby.

"Aren't you hungry, Zephaniah?" Grandma whispered, granddad and aunt Waliyha engrossed in their own conversation.

Suddenly, silent tears leaked from my eyes and I rested my left cheek in my hand, staring at the floor as I felt ashamed for my behaviour. My head was turned away from my other family members, though, only grandma could see.

"Is it all too much? Do you want to eat somewhere else with me?" Grandma asked, but I shook my head, knowing my behaviour was probably uncalled for.

Quickly drying my eyes, I managed to swallow down some of the cauliflower and potatoes, but just half of my meat. Dessert was served soon, but I felt nauseous.