Bloom

4. study group lunch

Zephaniah

Hesitantly looking around me, I fiddled with my fingers as I tried to search for the Library. The building was as immense from the inside as how it had looked from the outside, which made me anxious. I didn't know where to go to, and I didn't want to ask the students that walked past.

They must think I'm dumb. I swallowed, squinting my eyes as I stood still abruptly in the middle of the hallway, my attention getting caught as I saw two swans flying near the window.

I smiled a little. I had always thought swans that flew were intriguing. The sound their large wings made as they flew, their long necks stretched out, wanting to reach their destination as fast as possible. They were quite cool.

"Get out of the way," Some guy grumbled as he shoved me away, successfully dragging me back to reality.

Blushing, I dragged my backpack upon my arm again as it had fallen off, continuing to walk through the crowded hallways. Why did I always have to stare?

Sighing, I felt my eyes starting to blink a little faster, as the busy hallways were starting to become overwhelming for me. The busy posters with bright colours and big statements on it, the many lockers and crowd of students that were all pushing their way through each other to go to their destination, the loud chatter, the warmth. I tried to stand on my toes and search for the word Library, but I just couldn't find it.

I swallowed again, feeling how the anxiety was slowly creeping throughout my whole body, making me nauseous, subconsciously making me chew on the ropes of my hoodie. Why do you have to be old, Cooper?

Ask them, Zeph. Asking for help is never a bad thing. Mum would say, yet I couldn't bring myself to do so. Suddenly, my eyes fell on the word library, that was written on a door made out of glass, making me sigh in relief.

Pushing the door open, I immediately noticed Mum, who was currently helping out a student with the books she borrowed. I stood behind the small desk, waiting for her to notice me.

"Thank you, Mrs. Hannah. I'll try to return them next week. Have a good day!" The student said, who left right after that.

"You too!" Mum simply smiled at her, checking the book's titles and putting them away at the right place. It was only a few seconds later when she noticed me, a smile forming on her lips. "Zeph! Hey, how are you?"

"Hi, mum." I smiled, giving her a short hug after she had placed a kiss on my cheek. "I couldn't find the library, first." I frowned, placing my bag on the tables that stood near her desk. They were old, paint wearing off at some sides.

It made me want to paint the whole thing over, just like the walls. It was probably like that to make an old-school effect, but it was messy. Especially with the ripped posters and photo's that someone had hung up. Some books were messily placed onto the many shelves that were there, a student not bothering to pick up one that had fallen.

"Zeph," Mum said, only then I noticed her warm hand on my cheek, making clear that I had been staring at the walls for too long. "I was wondering if you had asked Tara? She was here not too long ago."

I thought about her question for a while, slowly shaking my head. "She didn't- didn't want to show me. She said I had to do things alone." I frowned, thinking about Tara who had simply pushed me away, scoffing.

Never understanding what I did wrong now, I simply figured she was nervous about the new University life too, and didn't know how to express it. I didn't always know how to express my feelings either. I wasn't mad at her, but it did make me feel a bit upset.

"Oh," Mum sighed, sitting down beside me. "Where's she now? Don't you have class? You're on your second week, after all."

"No," I said quietly, straightening the papers I had neatly placed onto the table. "We have William, said we can have an hour.. off? I thought it was a High School thing," I chuckled, taking my folder out of my bag.