Bloom

66. restless marshmallows

Zephaniah

Washing my body, I rinsed off the soap and shampoo, revealing the familiar apple scent that made me feel at ease. The water was warm, the stream was soft. Their shower was good- easier than the one at my grandparents' house at least.

Turning off the faucet, I stepped out of the shower, shivering as I reached for my own towel. I wrapped it around my body and stood still for a while, glancing through the mirror. My hair fell flat onto my forehead, my left cheek was rosy due to the warmth- the right one was yellow, almost green as the bruises were healing.

Glancing between my jeans and my joggers, I didn't know what to choose. It went against my nature to dress in normal clothes after I had showered- I usually spent the evenings in my pajamas at home. I wouldn't go anywhere anymore, anyway.

Nina had set up a small campfire in their backyard. I heard the chatter of my peers, Haven included. I wanted to go for her, even when a headache had started to come up. Glancing between my jeans and joggers again, I broke my routine and slipped on the jeans after I had slipped on my underwear and applied some ointment for the eczema.

Medication sucked. One of the side effects were skin rashes- eczema and of course I had to get that. It had bothered me almost my whole life- my thighs being the worst place. I tended to itch quite a lot- it became worse at night, but Dad had always tried for me to hold back. Itch was worse than pain. I had agreed to the one who said that.

Pulling a dark blue and white striped hoodie over my head, I adjusted my beanie on my slightly humid hair after that. I disliked the feeling of wet hair, I disliked the cold that would hit it lightly outside even more.

Haven.

I stood still and flapped my hands for a brief moment, smiling at the thought. I bit my upper lip.

The feeling and thought of being someone's guy, made me feel extremely confused, yet so grateful. Who knew the autistic would blend so well with a neurotypical? I saw it as some sort of achievement, I wondered if that made sense or if it was right, or wrong.

Unlocking the bathroom door, I left our area and tiptoed through the living room, wondering where the door was that led us over towards the backyard. I stood still for a while, petting Luna while secretly hoping somebody would come and get me. I was hesitant as where to go to, which made me feel self aware again. I just didn't want to make Nina think I was snooping through her house, as Norah had told her.

Much to my luck, Nina entered the living room as well, smiling at me. "Hi, love. Do you want to join your peers outside? You can follow me. Oh! Wait, would you mind helping me out?"

Giving her an unsure smile, I hadn't quite followed what she meant. Nodding still, I followed her into the kitchen, awkwardly playing with my fingers.

"Are you liking it so far? I can imagine it must be a little tougher for you.. isn't it?" She wondered, her face stood soft. I didn't really know what she meant, so I didn't answer, not knowing what to say.

My lips parted, my cheeks heated up, my eyes flickering away.

"Don't mind me." She spoke, I watched her freckles. "Mind bringing over these bowls of crisps to your friends?"

"Okay." I mumbled out modestly, frowning when I realised she had called them my friends. As if- excluding Haven with that, obviously. I waited for Nina and quickly followed her outside, clumsily placing the bowls onto a small table that stood outside, being aware of the eyes that burned into my back.

Quickly straightening the drinks, bowls, and glasses, I searched for Haven, finding her on a seat sack beside Norah. Ittarah glared at me, I gave her a questionable look, but once Luke bored his eyes onto my face- I looked away.