Movies I Like That Everyone Else Hates

My Review of Red Hood Rises

I'm going to take a break from talking about movies that I like that everyone else hates to instead review a movie that I worked on. If you weren't aware, I co-starred in a movie known as Red Hood Rises with 1985cat. This film took nearly 3 years to make. Filming took over one year, while there was a year-and-a-half of post-production hell. And finally after editing, the final project has been released on YouTube as of April 20th, coincidentally on the same day that marijuana is finally legalized. But trust me, after watching this film, you're going to need to get high. Although Collin and I are no longer on any good speaking terms, and I'm giving him way too much credit here, I got to give him credit for releasing this on the 80th anniversary of Batman, the 30th anniversary of Jason Todd's death, and before Avengers Endgame is released in theaters. Took him long enough. After watching the film that I contributed to, this is what I have to say about the film. I am really unsatisfied with the final product. Yeah, I had a lot of fun playing The Joker, and my sister did a great job with helping me with the Joker's makeup, but sadly, even my Mark Hamill impression of the Clown Prince of Crime can't save this train-wreck of a fan film. I can't make up my mind on whether it's abysmally disappointing, disappointingly abysmal, or abysmal AND disappointing! There are tons and tons and tons of problems that not even I can ignore. These problems would make anyone who hated Suicide Squad say to David Ayer, all is forgiven. And Suicide Squad won an Oscar. A friggin' Oscar! What are these problems, you may ask? Well, the camerawork sucks. You can barely see the faces of any of the actors, or what the hell is happening. Of course, my tall height, being 6'3.5, doesn't do this any favors. I should've asked Collin to do another take where everyone can at least see what the hell is going on! And that's not all. Most of the time, you can barely understand a single word the characters are saying! That's because, the background noise is so loud, [example, traffic and the wind blowing] it overpowers whatever it is the actors are saying! At least when I'm watching Batman and Robin, I can see the actor's faces, and understand what the hell they're saying! Even if the lines suck!

See what I mean? You'd think these scenes would be merciful to at least cut away. Not the case in Red Hood Rises. There are some scenes that won't cut away, and drag on! They go on forever, beyond six minutes! They drag on, and on, and on! And some of them are pointless! The Flash's scenes are pointless and honestly unnecessary. I would've gotten rid of those scenes. The scenes where I show up as myself? Yeah, I get to loosen up and somewhat show off my comedic chops, but the scene is pointless, unnecessary, serves no purpose to the story whatsoever, and really is more of a distraction to the story, if you'd even call it a story. I begged Collin to not include this scene, seeing as it serves no purpose, but he didn't listen. There are even some scenes that are anger inducing. One scene that definitely should not have been in the film is Jason finding out who Joker is. It takes away the mystery of who The Joker really is! And if Jason knew about Jeannie, that'd be kinda creepy. Every scene Collin does as Jason does not do the character justice, quite the opposite in fact. It ruins him! And when I can actually hear Jason talking, he sounds more like Marilyn Manson when he does his low voice. And he doesn't seem edgy at all to me. I can barely sympathize with him. This version of Jason was more like some whiny teen trying to act like The Punisher, and thinking that constantly saying fuck makes him look cool and edgy. Well it doesn't. It's pathetic and immature, kinda like the new Hellboy movie, which I hear doesn't really do much with its R rating, and acts like an immature teen thinking that swearing is cool. And if you think the other characters are safe from my wrath, think again! Let's start with my portrayal of Bruce Wayne. Although I do try my best to look and sound like Batman, even trying to do a Kevin Conroy impression, this character is just bad. Not because he caused Jason's mental illness, which is a load of bullshit if you ask me; but because he looks like a clueless idiot! This is the World's Greatest Detective, here! And he can't even tell that this little punk is his former sidekick. There are parodies where Batman is written as an idiot. One such parody is on College Humor where a guy impersonating Christian Bale's Batman is a total moron. But that's played for laughs. This isn't a parody, and I'm disappointed with the way I handled Mr. Wayne. And I was also trying to emulate Ben Affleck! This would make others look at the previous performances and say, "Wow, and I thought [insert least favorite actor that played Batman here.] was bad!" And let's also talk about Bruce's trusty butler Alfred, played horribly by Collin also. Collin doesn't look anything like Pennyworth, sucks at a British accent, and plays him in a way that would make anyone say, "That's supposed to be Alfred?" I hated his accent so much, that I actually tried dubbing his voice, giving two impressions. One of the late Efrem Zimbaltist Jr, and one of Sean Connery. But it's quite obvious Collin didn't use these recordings, and you get to hear his joke of a British accent. Honestly, Rob Walker [brother of Nostalgia Critic/Doug Walker] plays a hilarious Alfred, and he could've done a much better job as Pennyworth! At least he can do a fucking British accent. My friend Andrew Spurlock could've played Alfred better. Yeah, he may be a ginger and doesn't look like the character, but he is really good at playing older gentlemen, that with a little makeup and gray hair dye, he could've done it brilliantly. Though, maybe it is better that he wasn't dragged into this. He would probably regret it for the rest of his life. Though I try to give Alfred good lines, they aren't enough to save this bastardization of the character. But that's not all. A Batman movie/spin-off is nothing without a good action scene. Sometimes a good fighting scene can save a movie. Like this awesome scene.

Many people remain divisive toward Batman v Superman to this day, but some are unanimous when they say this fight scene is well choreographed and shot. Red Hood Rises does not have any good fight scenes whatsoever. The "fight choreography" is a joke! It's cringe-worthy! The punching sounds are poorly timed, and the fighting is about as bad as the fight scenes in a very bad Power Rangers episode. They're just awful. Same with the story. It's a bastardization of Jason Todd's origins, trying too hard to be Under The Red Hood and also The Punisher movies. If you're a real Jason Todd fan, you won't like this movie. Plus, this video is age restricted on YouTube. Right, because that makes the video even more edgy! Bitch please, it's not violent enough to warrant the age restriction on YouTube. I've seen WatchMojo do Top 10 videos about Saw that are more worthy enough to warrant an Age Restriction due to the level of violence shown. This video isn't violent or gory enough to warrant an Age Restricted warning. Red Hood Rises is a disappointing mess and a crummy fan film. It's not worth any hype that I built up, it's just a waste of 106 minutes. I'm gonna quote Roger Ebert on this.

Another way I'd describe this shitfest is the beginning clip in which child Gamora asks, "Did you do it?" Thanos responds with, "Yes." Gamora responds with, "What did it cost?" Thanos responds with, "Everything..." Collin, if this is your idea of a magnum opus, don't expect Geoff Johns [pronounced Jeff by the way, not the way you pronounce it] and/or Christopher Nolan to answer your emails, or messages, or calls, any time in the near future soon. You honestly think Geoff Johns or Matt Reeves would watch this movie, and say, "Y'know, that Reisenauer guy would make an excellent Jason Todd. Let's totally cast him in the DC Extended Universe. And let's bring that Tony Garcia guy for good measure too. It's not like we're doing better without Zack Snyder. Hey James, how much has Aquaman made at the box office? $1 billion?!?!?!? Holy mackerel! And Shazam? $322 million? Not bad." Be realistic! If Mr. Johns looked at this, he'd cringe at it, and say something like, "Y'know Matt, let's cast someone far more qualified to play Jason Todd. Though, I think we're on the right formula with films like Aquaman and Shazam though." Honestly, I feel a great swell of pity for the next actor that portrays Jason Todd in the next future project. I'm sure DC will find a good, talented, actor. But I'm gonna feel really sorry for the poor sap, because I know Collin will find out, and he will be furious that DC chose [insert far more qualified actor here] over him, and he'll go into an envious rage and rant about it on social media. On the bright side, I won't have to hear about it anytime soon. If you hate this version of Jason Todd, at least you have a reason to root for The Joker. This film is worse than the animated Killing Joke movie, and I love that movie! I'm certainly not going to be putting this turd on my resume anytime soon. Makes me glad I backed out from all those future projects Collin was gonna force me to do. And now, I'm certainly going to go on to look for more dignified projects to atone for this burden. It's as Nostalgia Critic said, "the road to dignity starts with the longing for dignity." If you want to see a good Red Hood movie, don't bother with Red Hood Rises, watch Batman Under The Red Hood instead. I rate Red Hood Rises 1.5/5 stars.

Yes, I know that the image is a 1/5 stars, but that was the best image I can find, which is more than I can say about Red Hood Rises! Now that I have finished letting off steam and doing what I would consider the equivalent to screaming into a pillow, I'm over Jason Todd, and I think I'll go back to talking about movies that I like that everyone else hates.