Stupid Love | {Logan Paul Fanfiction}

2

A few days went by. I'm just coming back from Germany where I had to deal with some business. Logan actually picked me up at the airport and he brought his camera.
"Can I put this in the vlog?"he asked pointing the camera at me.
"I'm tired Logan and I look like it too. People don't want to see that."I said.
"But I want them to see my cute ass girlfriend.."he whined playfully.
"You really need to work on your acting skills."I said teasingly. He acted shocked.
I punched his arm. "Stop it!" We were laughing the whole car ride and when we stood in front of the house Logan turned to me.

"What?"I asked.
"I have a surprise for you."he said and seemed a little nervous.
"It's in the backyard. I want to cover your eyes, is that ok?"he asked.
"Ok, but I don't promise that I won't fall asleep." He chuckled and came over to my side of the car. Once I was blindfolded he carefully walked me into the backyard.
"Ok, we're here."he said.
"Ouch."something had poked me in my leg. "What was that?"I asked.
"Sorry, my fault. You 'll see... right now.."he said taking the blindfold off.
I was speechless. There were roses everywhere and I mean EVERYWHERE.
"How.. how many are these.. this must have cost a fortune.. what the.." I couldn't say more. I walked through the tons and tons of roses. They were white ones. I love white roses. I turned to Logan who was smiling like an idiot. I walked up to him and wrapped my hands around his neck and smiled at him.
"Can't even leave you alone for four days, huh?" I gazed up at him.
"You know if I could I would spend every second of my life with you."he said and brought his lips to mine.
To my surprise there were no cameras. This was our moment, not anyone else's.
Later he explained to me that he's gonna say it in the vlog but won't put any footage in that I don't agree with. That's one thing that lead to the breakup back then. He just revealed too much of our privacy and that hurt me.

Another few days went by. I just finished another chapter of my book and started another but actually it was kind of how I felt about Logan so I wanted him to read it. I went downstairs and held my MacBook in front of his face.
"What's that?"he asked.
"The new chapter, well the beginning of it.. it's actually really personal.. it's kinda how I feel about you.. so I want you to read it and give me a no or a go."I explained.
"Ok.."he said and started reading.
There are still roses everywhere by the way, in the house now though.

Logans point of view:

As soon as I read the first sentence I knew she got me. I knew she understands why I am the way I am.

She kind of felt like he just doesn't know how to really love someone. Like he doesn't know how to commit to someone in that way.
With his parents' divorce, he never really got over that, she thought. And she knows he wants to be in love, he wants to love her with his whole heart. He just doesn't know how.
He didn't learn it. His brother is just as much if not more of a mess as he is. His mom is trying to keep her head up and his dad, well, he likes to play with guns and cars. And how should you know how to love someone if you never saw it, if you just never learned how to. She thinks back to all his crazy actions. Maybe that were just his fears, maybe the craziness is just a scream for help. Because sometimes when they're about to kiss she can see the fear in his eyes. She doesn't know what kind of fear it is. But what if he's scared to love? What if he can't commit because he's scared of it?

How? How is she able to handle feelings like that? I know my family is a hell of a mess but I never realized how much it affected me. To me all that shit was normal, even the fears. 'Cause yeah, sometimes when we kiss I'm scared it might be the last one. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve her. Back when we first started dating my dad told me I'm too good for her, that she's not good enough. What I just read and so many other things are proof enough that she's damn perfect. That she's the most wonderful human being I know.

I told her 'go' for the part I just read and she carried on writing. I let her get into it while I was doing the podcast. When I got back upstairs she was getting ready for bed. She had her grey sleeping shorts and top on and just finished brushing her teeth.
I stood in the doorway and just looked at her.
"What? Is something wrong?"she asked when she noticed that there were tears in my eyes.
"Show me, Nilla. Show me how to really love someone.. to really love you.. because I can't lose you ever again... I need you..."