Stupid Love | {Logan Paul Fanfiction}

21

I didn't want to be so mean to Logan. I know he just wants to take care of me. But I just couldn't deal with the questions right now.
It made me feel angry. It made me feel angry that I cared so much about the pass away of the person who had made my life a living hell. I hated that it made me have panic attacks. I hated that it made me such a b*tch towards Logan. I just hated all of this. The longer I sat on the bed the angrier I got. So I put on some workout clothes and went into the gym. The boys were all there. I looked at Evan, at Mike and then at Logan. They all stopped what they were doing and looked at me like I was an alien.
But not Logan. I looked in his eyes and saw how hurt he was. I think he cried, his eyes are red. I didn't say anything and just walked to the boxing stuff. I started throwing punches. And while Mike and Evan went on with their exercises I felt Logans eyes on me for a few more minutes. I lost track of time but I was still punching. Out of breathe and drenched in sweat I sat down against the wall at some point. They were all gone. I was on my own and I started crying. This time, because my hands were hurting like hell and because I noticed that I don't seem to have any self control.
I had to work hard to get the boxing gloves off my hands. My hands were blue and red and I was even bleeding on my right hand. I just sat there, leaning against a wall because I wouldn't be able to hold myself up right now. My hands in my lap and even that hurts. Feeling cold because I'm wet from my own sweat. And tears streaming down my face without getting any less than this morning.
The worst wasn't even that my father died, it's what that made me do.

I saw Lydia coming to the gym. She had water and a plate in her hands.
"Hey.. I thought I'd bring you some.. Nilla... what happened to your hands?"she come and sat right beside me.
"He made a monster out of me..."I whispered through tears.
"What? Who?"
"My father..."I sniffled.
"You're not a monster Nilla.. your father was one but not you.. you're an angel, girl... the way you act right now.. you just act like that cause you're confused and hurt.."Lydia said.

Logans PoV:
We left Nilla alone in the gym at some point. It was like she didn't even hear me saying that she should stop or at least take a break. I took a shower and was now sitting in the living room with Evan and Mike. Lydia came from the gym. She had a plate full of food in her hand.
"What did you do with that?"I asked a little confused.
"I wanted to bring it to Nilla but she didn't want it."Lydia said. God, did Nilla eat anything today? She needs to eat, especially after the last two hours.
I followed Lydia into the kitchen.
"Is she ok?"I asked.
"No, obviously she's not! Her very not useful and very not good of a father died yesterday, she doesn't know what to feel or think about that and she punched that punching bag for two hours, Logan..."she took a deep breathe.
"Look, she said he made a monster out of her, I told her she's an angel because.. well, she is.. but she just lost her father and she knows with how she acted today she hurt you and.. god.. just go take care of her..and take this with you.."Lydia handed me some bandages and scissors.
"What's that for?"
"She punched against a bag full of sand for two hours Logan.. her hand is bleeding.."Lydia said and with that I was going straight to the gym.
She's not a monster! She's an angel, just like Lydia said. Suddenly I felt stupid for taking what happened this morning so personally. She's in a bad place right now.

In the gym I saw her tiredly sitting against the wall, sweaty, shaking and crying.
I went to her and took her in my arms.
"It's okay, honey.. it's okay.."I tried to calm her. Leaving one arm around her, the best I could, I looked at her hands. They were blue and red and her right hand was bloody.
I carefully took it into my hand and she hissed.
"Let me take care of this first."I said and carefully wrapped her hand up in a bandage.
The bruises shouldn't hurt too bad, her hands are probably just cramped because they were in the same position for so long.
She reached for the water bottle and hissed once again.
"Let me help you.."I said and helped her drink.