All the Things I Didn't Say

I wanna be okay

"Nothing ever got better I just learned how to deal with it all"

-
My Mom believes, that we are here, because we chose it. All the things we'll go through, the people we'll meet, and the heart breaks we'll overcome.

It all just seems strange to me, and it doesn't make any sense. Why would anyone chose to exist here? On earth, a dying planet, as imperfect beings.

Then I started to think, what if it, was more of a raffle. You draw a piece of paper. On that paper, is the life you'll have, and the person you'll be.

I just feel it's more by chance, then by choice. Maybe to make us stronger, so we could excel into other worlds.

It's hard. Living in this world, that knocks you off your feet, so many times. It's not just the universe conspiring against you, but it's the people too. They spread it. We spread it. To others and to ourselves.

It shouldn't be this way. I don't wanna feel the weight of the world on my chest, every time I breathe.

I just wanna be okay.

5/8/19