All the Things I Didn't Say

Try hard

"Maybe I try too hard"

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-storytime-
I had a breakdown like at the beginning of the year. It was like a small thing. I was struggling in school, it was this one class in particular. It was an easy class, but I seemed to struggle. It wasn't because I didn't try, I tried and I tried. In the back up my head I kept telling myself "maybe it's not for me," because things for you should be easy, right?
The class had two teachers, the first teacher had told me that I was out of the class. So the next day the other teacher was there and I thought he would give me another chance. But then he said go to your counselor and get your schedule changed. I kid you not instead I go into the bathroom and I just cry and cry. I come out of the stall and I fix myself up and I go to the counselor office. I grab a slip and then I leave, and I go back to class.
I start filling out the slip and I wrote my name and accidentally spelled it wrong.The teacher who just told me to go get my schedule changed, walks up to me, and he asked me if I went I said no. I was basically on the verge of tears, and he said "I'll walk you." So I got up and as soon as we left the room and we're in the hallway, and I think this my chance. I struggle a bit going back and forth and I just say, "I want to stay," and he turns around. Then he starts telling me how I play around too much and he starts talking about the world. I start crying again, and I try to state my argument through my tears. I stop and start to choke on my tears, and he says "Go on." So I do and I tell him how much effort I put it in the class.
We made eye contact, and he kind of looked like he felt for me. We head back in the classroom and I wipe my tears and he takes the slip I got from the counselor's office and tells me "I won't need it." And he was honestly so nice to me the rest of the week.
7/23/20