All the Things I Didn't Say

I'm not over you

"It was weird getting over him, one day I just decided I was done trying"

-
I always tried. I texted you 25/8. I tried. You took me for granted. You were always so hot and cold. If only you knew how much I cared, but maybe you did and you just didn't care.

You were the sun, and I was the planets rotating around you.

It hurt so much, at first, getting over you.

I felt like I lost a piece of myself. You didn't care, did you? I tried and I tried. "Just love me,"I asked.

Maybe I thought, it would all work out in the end. That you would come to your senses. Or we would meet again, when we're older, and wiser. You would finally realize I'm standing right in front of you, and begging you to love me.

It's pathetic, I know. How much of myself I lost, trying to impress you.

The worst part out of all of this is, I'm still not completely over you.

I don't wanna move on. I want you. I want you and only you. I think about you a lot. I won't ever forget you.

Truth is, I'm scared. Scared of seeing you again. I don't wanna look you in the eye. I don't wanna hear your voice. I don't wanna see your smile.

I'm afraid if I see you again, that I would fall right back into that pit of despair. Longing after someone, I could never have.

5/13/19