All the Things I Didn't Say

Things like you

"People kill their selves over things like this, over things like you"

__

I don't blame you. For treating me the way you did. I was blinded, by the idea of love, that I'd created in my mind.

It was my fault. Maybe if I would just accept, that the love I want, isn't going to happen.

At least not anytime soon.

My mom likes to tell me, that you can attract people into your life by having a passion for something.

I can't really think of anything I'm passionate about. It kinda seems like I am always try something at least once. Then I'm quick to move on, from whatever it is.

I use to sing and dance, but I've lost all my confidence. Now it feels strange to dance or sing, especially in public.
I was in chorus for a month maybe two, and I even got a solo.

I was in band for four months, and I played the trumpet. My friends at the time would make fun of me, and say I sucked. It's safe to say I didn't take band next year.

Ever since my mom said the thing about having a passion, I just feel off. What if I never find something I'm good at.

6/5/19