All the Things I Didn't Say

Hopeless... it is

"We know this isn't gonna work out but let's do it anyway"

__

I care too much.

But you seem like you don't care at all
Or maybe you're just like me.

I hate me
For not walking away

Because when you see something broken
You don't try to fix it.

I've been having suicidal thoughts lately. I want to cut myself so badly. I thought of where on my body and what I was going to use.
Food doesn't help anymore. I barely even taste my food anymore. I want to be done with the world.

Is it really a sin, to not want to play God's or whoever's fucked up game. It's my life, so why can't I end it. They say think about your friends or your family, but what if none of it is real.

What if it's just my subconscious, making all of this up. The people, earth, space, time, all of it. How would I know? How does anyone know?

I wish someone would tell me how much they appreciate me. How much they care, and how their love for me is endless.

6/5/19