How To Kill Love

Chapter 36- Beginning

Elly's P.O.V

Unknown year
In the middle of  nowhere
"Not sure if I'm still a virgin"

Nausea, headache, migraines
More migraines
"Where the hell am I? Who am I?"

"Is it weird to not know who you are

but know your name?"

Being in the middle of nowhere is something that doesn't happen every day. Being yourself and thinking you're a stranger to yourself is as rare even. This is definitely a weird dream and I'm definitely, probably, stuck in a parallel universe, the cosmos even. Who knows.

Truth be told, I know my name is Elly Foster, but being in this random area in the desert is quite surprising. Being in bloody clothes is even a more surprising matter.

From the looks of it, I am in a desert with a convenience store a few feet away and cacti blocking the sun's rays. My eyes widened even more as I saw a woman standing in front of a store and signaling me to go to where she's currently standing.

Do the people in the convenience store know me? Who knows.

I thought to myself, "why aren't I thirsty or having a hard time walking?" It almost felt like I sat in a chair for 5 straight days, it's too exact, but it felt like an honest answer.

I then looked at the view around me and ran towards the store with the name, Chucks Terf. It's crazy that they acted as if it were normal to see someone stranded on a random occasion. What if I actually work in that store and lied down under the sun then lost my entire memory.

I didn't even need to ask since the woman in the counter smiled and handed me a bottle of water and I chugged the sterilized liquid to moisten my dry throat. The woman then gave a stare of fear, sorriness and hope. She then spoke with a deep voice, it was as if she just drank a bottle of tequila. "I saw a truck earlier with people in masks. They just dropped you off like some dead body to dispose. I thought you were dead, so I didn't look, but look who is staring at me now, an alive person. I'm grateful and pleased that you came by. What happened and why did they leave you stranded?"

"I don't remember anything like seriously. I don't know who I am nor those people who dropped me off here in the middle of nowhere." I replied and got myself spooked out by the little pep talk. Is she serious right now, this moment?

"Oh dear. I'll bring you back to the city." She gulped in fear once again, "To the hospital! Hello?!"

Then the light flickered in front of me as darkness surrounded the view. I closed my eyes and it seemed like I was trapped, but I don't know where or when.

***

I then woke up, sirens destroying my ears.

***

"Hey? Hey! You're okay!" The woman that explained a part of what happened to me embraced me. We just met but she really cared even for a stranger like me.

I just remembered that I was conscious a few minutes ago while talking to the lady in a store then I collapsed. I suspect it's the dehydration or every body pain that can be felt in my tissues.

"What happened again?" I sighed in distress. "I'm sorry I don't know what's going on with me." My voice then became a sob because emotions jolted me. It's like I feel depressed and I can cry all day as if my eyes were only made to flow salty tears.

The lady gave a weak smile in return. "It's not your fault. None of this is your fault." She squealed. "Just calm down and rest since you just passed out in my store. The nurses and docs will take care of your pitiful ass. Seriously though, I want to ask you a few details like where are you from? Do you have any family here in the La Paz Sand Dunes?"

"Where's La Paz Sand Dunes? What?" I questioned in fear. I literally don't know anything and I don't know what to answer.

"It's where we are right now and the only known desert in the Philippines." The woman answered and it just scared me even more. "From the looks of it, I guess you have something called amnesia." The doctor interrupted the talk as she lessened the pressure of the oxygen tank. "It seems like you passed out because of the distress your body has been experiencing lately. It seems like you were on drugs and someone injected some dangerous substances unto your left arm that it destroyed your neurons. It also seems like you just woke up from a coma and your body is trying to cope up. What is going on?! Why are you experiencing something this tragic?!" The doctor couldn't take the entire data because it was just too overwhelming in a negative way. "I'm just a residence doctor practicing, but I already am having a case too rare and too much to handle." She then looked at me with confusing eyes, fear and a slight look of hope.

"I really don't know what you're talking about, but I guess it all makes sense now. I don't know myself, but it feels like I just lost some memory." I sighed. "But you can help me right?"

The doctor nodded. "Of course, I'll call the doctors who have much experience with these situations. They know the symptoms and are more knowledgeable than me. Amnesia is a rare case and it seems like it just happened to you."

I cannot bare this feeling. It's something people call as frustration. I'm frustrated that I want to know and deep think who I really am, but it just can't come out in any way. I can't think straight because I have no memory to think about or overthink about. It's like I transferred from a body to this body and renewed as a baby. I hate the myself for I don't know if I'm good in something or maybe even love someone that I already don't know. I don't know who I am and I don't know where to start figuring who I am.

We were by then in the ICU an the doctor explained to the other doctor what I am currently experiencing. Then five doctors marched in my room with heavy heads. The old yet good looking doctor raised his voice and told all of them what to do. I was flattered because why have all the trouble 'cause of me?

" Amnesia is a deficit in memory caused by brain damage or disease. Amnesia can also be caused temporarily by the use of various sedatives and hypnotic drugs. The memory can be either wholly or partially lost due to the extent of damage that was caused." The doctor explained, terrified even for what he said. "Seems like you've been on drugs in this matter. The question is, why would you want this to happen to yourself and who would engineer a drug this advanced in the Philippines?"

"We'll look into it doctor and make sure we'll let the police investigate the matter." The other doctor said as she fixed her glasses because of nervousness, I can tell. "I know doctors and policemen don't really work well, but it'll work this time." She explained. "It's our only way to find answers for our patient. I think someone did this to her because who in the right mind will want to destroy their memories?"

"Crazy people and we have to test her blood to see if she had any past brain damage or deficiencies."  The other doctor answered. "We don't know her and what's worst is that she doesn't know herself."