How To Kill Love

Chapter 25- Kisses and Daggers

Getting up from bed after 2 straight days of laying around is tough. Tougher than carrying boulders in my bag every single day. The books, metaphorically.

"Sweetie, why were you so restless during the weekend?" Mom asked while eating her chips aloud which annoys me, especially if it's Doritos. "Ma! I told you to not eat chips in my room since the crumbs are going to attract more ants around here. There's even an ant hill under my bed and the little pests are conquering my pink dome." I yelled, but with courtesy of course, she's still my Mom after all. 

"Meh, I'll tell the pest control peeps to come here and do the dirty work. Besides, we can share a few more chips around here." Mom replied with her usual care free attitude. I've never seen Mom happier than ever. She added, but this time with an eye roll. "What the hell happened during Friday night, young lady? You were drunk, haggard and you had some stomach pain. If you were from that bar then I understand you were carried away. I mean, thanks to D's supports, but like, come on you've never been wasted in months."

"I was at some friend's house." I replied then I realized I made Mom more worried and suspicious.  "I was at Mary's house for some girls night out. No biggie." I added that it made Mom phew.

"O-okay." Mom replied. "I'll just go down stairs for the household chores. The mops aren't going to swing by themselves." Mom grinned as she left the room's door open. "Damn it. I guess I have to stand up and close the damn door."

As I stood up, my womb sort of felt tingly. It's an odd feeling after that one crazy night with Ash. Some say it's fun, but for me, it was amazing.

***

Nothing but the usual noisy hallway of a Monday morning with not-so Monday people. At least I gave myself a favor by recharging during the weekend. It's unfair that a weekend sometimes seems like a day.

"Elly!" Harith screamed from the other end of the ramp. I was totally not paying attention of the bystanders, but when I heard Harith, it's like things became more clear and vivid.

"You didn't text nor call during the weekend which is honestly like you, but what's not like you is not replying to my texts." Harith said out of care, I suppose.

"I was just tired after that time with Ash." I replied, of course grinning at such memory.

"You-" Harith's voice seemed to have been losing its power. A low husky voice came. "You did it with him? You gave yourself up to someone you spent time with only thrice?"

"We spent time with each other four times just to correct you. I accidentally bumped into him in the computer lab a week ago then he gave me the lab's wifi password. Also, we spent more lifetimes in the past when we were kids."

"You can't say that. He changed and you too. You don't know him that well." Harith replied, he seemed like he was about to tear up. "I can't believe you. I don't know who you are anymore. Giving away something as precious as your dignity to a guy who just broke up with his girl friend a week ago for who knows why."

"You don't know him! I know him! How dare you question my life choices! It's not all the time that you have someone like you for who you are and is willing to spend time with you, get to know you, be there for you."

"You know what Elly." Harith paused and leaned to have a step closer, held my cheeks, kissed my lips softly. He kissed me like we were more than just friends, and I kissed him back like I knew I wanted this. He stopped and let go for a moment. "You had me ever since. I just want you to know that I don't judge your decisions, but I judge the way you look into your life. You've always had me. The person who secretly loved you, the person who secretly  wanted to spend more time with you every single day. This is not friendly, I love you."

Then he slipped his hands away from mine. It's like he composed a sad song with his lines. I teared up as well and embraced him. "If you think I slept with Ash, you're wrong. I'm not that kind of girl. We just played his sports like pool, ping pong, even basketball during that day. I'm not a sporty girl so here I am with back pains, stomach pains and crazy illnesses." I cackled. "Harith, he asked me if I wanted to do it, but I rejected the offer since I'm not that kind of girl. The night didn't really end well, but it was still fun. I was confused so I cut off all communications and dealt with my emotions while in bed with the curtains covering me from daylight."

Harith embraced harder and grinned, it seemed like he knew it all along. "I knew it. I just jumped into conclusions since you had so much things to say that can only be caused by-" he cackled. "You know that gross thing that should be only done after marriage."

"I guess both us have to wait until the church bells will ring." I accidentally said which was unlikely of me. "Sorry, my bad. Wrong words for the occasion. Don't mind my weirdness it's-" Harith then interrupted me with a kiss again. "The reason why I love you." He continued.

I was then flustered, confused even. "No, Harith. This cannot be. We cannot be..." I interrupted the kiss with words of doubt.

"What? Why did you kiss me back then? Why did you joke about the marriage thing?!" Harith replied, from joyful tears to sad, fearful ones. "Are you purposely playing with me right now like I'm some boy toy?"

"Just reflexes acting up. I was carried away by what you said that I felt like I wanted to go with the flow until I realized that you are my best friend." I reasoned. "We're best friends, Har!"

"You always say that!" Harith squealed. "When you bite your nails, you always say that. When you randomly do something, you blame it on your reflexes? I don't think those are reflexes.
Those are your manmade choices and you need to face them." Harith left, ran even. His tears even made a trail.

"What have I done." I said to myself. Why did I let this happen? What if Harith is right? I'm just putting the blame on my reflexes, even if it's just my pure choices.

What has gotten into me? Why did I let him go like that and showed Ash the good girl I really am while wanting to be a bad girl for once? What's wrong with me? Do I need therapy from some doctor to fix my problems?

How do you kill love anyway? It caused enough drama in my life.