I'll Be Okay (Mayday Parade Fanfiction)

I Swear This Time I Mean It

•Month One•

The past few days have been great. I've pushed the thought of dying out of my head. We all die eventually just, some sooner than others. I've urged Derek to so the same. We decided not to tell Ryan for now. I don't want him to be sad while I'm still here. Derek has been staying home with me while Ryan's at school. I told him not to stop working with the guys on account of me, but he insisted that he works better when he's around me. He said he's been working on a song. I've been trying to get him to let me hear it, but he always says its not finished.

I've been sitting on the couch while reading the latest Alternative Press magazine, then I feel Derek come up behind me and kiss me neck. A smile spread across my face.

"Happy anniversary. I love you."

"Awe. I love you too. Happy Anniversary." I turn my head and kiss him deeply.

Derek comes around the sit of the couch, he has his six string in his hand.

"I finished the song." He smiles. He positions his acoustic in the playing position and smiles at me. He starts to strum a slow melody.

🎶🎶Oh Florida, please be still tonight

Don't disturb this love of mine

Look how she's so serene

You've gotta help me out

And count the stars to form in lines

And find the words we'll sing in time

I want to keep her dreaming

It's my one wish, I won't forget this

I'm outdated, overrated

Morning seems so far way

So I'll sing a melody

And hope to God she's listening

Sleeping softly while I sing

And I'll be your memories

Your lullaby for all the times

Hoping that my voice could get it right

If luck is on my side tonight

My clumsy tongue will make it right

And wrists that touch

It isn't much, but it's enough

To form imaginary lines

Forget your scars, we'll forget mine

The hours change so fast

Oh God, please make this last

'Cause I'm outdated, overrated

Morning seems so far way

So I'll sing a melody

And hope to God she's listening

Sleeping softly while I sing

And I'll be your memories

Your lullaby for all the times

Hoping that my voice could get it right

Could get it right

You could crush me

Please don't crush me

'Cause baby I'm a dreamer for sure

And I won't let you down

I swear this time I mean it

And I'll sing a melody

And hope to God she's listening

Sleeping softly while I sing

And I'll be your memories

Your lullaby for all the times

Hoping that my voice could get it right🎶🎶

He finishes the song with a final strum and looks up at me. A single years falls from my eye. I could tell that he poured so much emotion into that song and it truly spoke to me in ways I didn't think we're possible.

"It's so beautiful, Derek." I lean in and kiss him softly. He puts the guitar down and pulls me onto his lap.

"It's hard to resist you." He breathes in-between our kisses.

•Month Three•

I leave the doctor's office not any happier than when I arrived. I had made Derek stay home instead of coming with me. He needed to stop worrying about me. He didn't need to, although I'd probably be doing the same thing if I were in his position.

I enjoyed to be alone sometimes. I had been spending the most time with my family and friends that I could. I think that Tyler took it the hardest out of everyone. He broke down and cried. I had never seen him cry before. I couldn't imagine how hard it would be for him to lose me. I mean he had Ella and their daughter, but we had been through so much together. We've been through so much, most of it we never wanted anyone to ever go through. It was horrible, especially our younger years.

I try my hardest to not think about how much time I have left, but the doctor visits bring my thoughts right back. And every time I see the people I love, I feel a pang in my chest because I know that sometime soon they'll be living without me.

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Author's Note:

I'm toying with ideas for this story in my mind right now, and I just don't know what to write.

Sorry if this sucks. Also sorry about skipping months. So yeah.

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