I'll Be Okay (Mayday Parade Fanfiction)

Respirator

At first all I can hear are the faint beeping of machines around me. And then my eyes allow me to see the white hospital room that I am in. I see Derek in the chair next to my bed, he's asleep.

"Derek," I whisper, not having the voice to speak. He doesn't react so I try to speak louder.

"Der-ek" my voice cracks and I feel a pain in my chest. He wakes up and looks at me with happiness in his eyes.

"Val." He smiles. He leans over and kisses me lightly. "I'll be right back."

Derek leaves the room and returns moments later with who I presume to be the doctor. Derek sits back down and grips my hand.

"Where's Ryan?" I ask suddenly realizing his absence.

"He's with Katy. He's alright."

I nod and turn my attention to the doctor who stood before me.

"Hello, Valdosta. I'm Doctor Hayes." She smiles at me. "Now, I know that you are aware of your condition from the file that Doctor Strauss sent over. Is that correct?"

"Yes."

"Alright, well it seems that your heart has become very weak, which is making it hard for you to breathe. So you'll be on this respirator for a the time being." She gestures to the machines hooked up to me.

I don't know what to think. I know that I'm not doing well. I'm glad that I'm alive now, but I feel like my sentence has just been shortened.

"I also have some good and bad news. Your name has been slowly going up on the list of transplants over the past few months and we may have a heart for you. The only problem with that is that we could fully go through with the transplant and your body could reject the heart. The heart is coming in later tonight. If you are willing to go through with the operation, we will go ahead and schedule it for tomorrow."

I look over at Derek and see the hope in his eyes. Inside I'm cheering, I want to live and I'm so grateful to be getting a new heart. But at the same time the risks worry me.

"I'll let you two talk it over. Have a nurse page me when you've reached a decision." She left the room giving me a sympathetic look.

"Derek, I think I should go through with the surgery."

"There's nothing I want more than for that to happen, but think of the risks."

"Derek, I'm going to die if I don't get this heart. And the chance of my body rejecting the heart is a factor, but if I don't try then there's no way I could stay here with you and Ryan. If it gets rejected then at least I'd know that I tried."

He puts his head down. He knows what I said was true. "I know, Val. I'm sorry. I just..."

I can't take it anymore. I've held back the tears and it's not helping. I let the tears fall down my cheek and let a groan release from my lips.

"I'll be okay. Is that what you want me to say? I know this is tearing you apart and I'm so grateful that I'm not in your shoes, but I'd rather die then sit here and do nothing. And that's exactly what will happen if we don't do anything. I love you so much. I'm going to do the surgery for you, for Ryan, for everyone. I need that slim chance of survival."

"You're right. I need you to survive. I love you."

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Author's Note:

Okay, I know this is depressing and such. Don't hate me please.

Next chapter is the operation.

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