I'll Be Okay (Mayday Parade Fanfiction)

I Miss You

•Month Five•

I feel arms wrap around me and I smile. Derek had just gotten home from a night out with the guys. He had been staying home with me while Ryan is at school, so that I'm not alone. I told him not to put his song writing in the studio on hold because of me, but he insisted that he writes better when he's around me.

"I missed you." He says pulling me closer to him. "I love you so much. I'm so lucky to have you."

Well, that was out of the blue.

"I love you too. And hey, at least when I'm gone you'll be inspired to write sad songs about your lost love." Where the hell did that come from?

Derek let's go of me and sits up. The dim light of the lamp shines on his face. Sit up and look at his anger and pain stricken face.

"Do you really think that there's an upside to you dying? Being able to write a sad song is the least of my worries. I'd give up music in an instant if that meant I could have more time with you. Hell, I'd give up my life for you, Val. I love you so much ."

"I'm sorry... I shouldn't have said..." I trail off, getting out of bed. I leave the room, leave the room and sit on the front step. I put my head in my hands.

"Val," he starts.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean... I..." I sob.

"It's okay." He says holding onto me. "I understand that you're going through a tough time. It's tearing me apart that this is happening to you." He chokes. "I just want you to know that I love you so much and that you aren't going through this alone. I'm here for you. Katy, Tyler, Brooks, they're here for you too."

I hug him and sob into his shoulder. I can't imagine how he feels about all of this. There's so much I haven't said to him.

"I just want you to stay strong like that girl I met when I first moved here; confident and cool. I don't wanna lose you Val."

"It's inevitable."

"Maybe so, but I'm not gonna let the time I have with you be miserable. There's no use in being sad while you're still in my arms."

"I love you Derek."

•Month Six•

I wake up in the morning to an empty bed. Derek was already up and I could hear music coming from downstairs. I get out of bed and head downstairs to the kitchen. When I walk in I see Derek and Ryan eating bananas. I recognize the song as Adam's Song by Blink-182. It's one of my favorites. I silently song along as I reach for a cup from the cabinet. I turn around and walk to the sink.

Mid step, I feel very dizzy and I black out. I feel my back hit the cold ground and I hear frantic screams from Ryan and Derek.

"Mommy!"

"Val!"

I hear the plastic cup clatter to the ground next to me. I feel Derek's hands on me in an attempt to wake me, but I can't move.

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Author's Note:

I'm a horrible person, I know. I'm sorry.

I'll try to update this as soon as I can.

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