MY WORST FEARS (Completed)

chapter 40

Chapter POV

I got out of my room after a whole hour of preparing myself for the dinner. I didn't know why I was so excited about it, but I somehow put more effort in it. I had to look stunning. As all the therapist says, beauty starts from the inside.
I couldn't deny, the past few days being away from home, I felt different. I wasn't being dictated on what to wear, who to marry and neither reminded how bad-looking I was. Somehow, I had mastered the courage to look at myself in the mirror, dare to think I was beautiful and for the first time, I really felt beautiful. Hellboy words at the hallway flew back on my mind and I smiled.

I don't need anyone to tell me I'm beautiful, I know. But hearing him say it made it feel special. Like it was really true. Like he meant it. I wondered if he really meant what he said.
I loved the change of environment. It really worked different for and knowing there are people out here appreciating what the other person has, felt wonderful. Like more life had been pumped into me.

I glanced myself at the mirror more than twice not believing my new look. I decided to put  curls on  my hair to cheeks length, put on a little mascara and black skinny jean paired with a tank top. Not blazers. I'd make sure he gives me his so he can feel the night cold.

It just felt nice to make him pay for all the empty threats he had made back in school. Even after everything he had done to Jenny, he still had the guts to fuck around with girls. At first, it was hard to believe Tania, Hellboy didn't seem like someone to do such a thing to a lady, at least I had spent several nights in his house and he hadn't forced me to do anything I didn't want. But then, Tania knew him so well than I did.
If only she knew I was living with him, she'd have not told me all this scary things about him. But then she wasn't aware of my presence in that house. I needed someone else to confirm the story to me. That he did really rape her then denied all the accusations.
If he did, then why'd he walk away in the middle of our make out session, if I could call it like that. He'd have take advantage of that moment and gotten what he wanted. Unless he lied when he said I looked sexy.. Maybe it was all a prank to make me feel good about myself. Perhaps he realised I hated my body, myself and he only said it to make me feel better. Stupid. I had to stop all those stupid thoughts from ruining my night.

Whatever his intentions were when he said that, I didn't care. All that mattered is that it made me feel good about myself.

But then, I knew better not to believe him when he tried to talk me into all those good lines. That's how he always got into ladies panties and I wouldn't fall into his one of the victim. I needed to find a job really fisrt and get the hell out of that house. The work study at school couldn't cater for all my needs.
I got back to the living room and he was not there. Perhaps in his room changing.
"Hurry up, I'm hungry already. My stomach can't stop growling", I shouted towards his room as I got into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water.
Before I opened the fridge, I saw a sticky note, took the bottle first then headed to the living room with the note.
" I HAVE TO STEP OUT FOR SOME FEW HOURS. BUT I'll BE BACK TO GO OUT.PROMISE ", I knew he was just playing with my mind. I went straight to his room, without knocking I got it and found clothes littered on the floor. Clearly never come into his room. There were smelly canned remains of food on the floor. He must have been hiding from me. I looked for him at the messy closet, to the bathroom but he was nowhere to be found.
I felt my cheek warm, my vision blurring with tears as I sat at the edge of the bed. All my efforts were all in vain. He lied to me then left me all alone in the house, again.
But why did you have to lie to me. Why couldn't he tell me they were all jokes and he'd not come back home. Was everything a game to him. And what was so urgent that he'd leave me to attend to. Not that I was so important in his life or that he'd give a heck about me, but he had to stop playing around with my feelings. I was hungry. No cash. And I really needed to eat something.
I glanced at the bed side table, there was a red box. I reached for it to see what was inside. Perhaps a right. It looked like a ring box. Was he planning to propose to someone? Who? A wrenching pain crosses my heart.
I opened the box, my hands trembling. I realised a breathe I didn't know I was holding when I saw what was inside. A neck chain. It was beautiful and also similar to the one I had in my room. I had forgotten to take it with me and wondered if my sister had already seen it.
Tania had given me as a thanks gift, for allowing her in my life that night she came home. They must be so close with Hellboy to even have the same neck chain. It didn't feel any better to know Hellboy would give a something like that and he wouldn't want to spend few hours in the house with me.

I must have taken a few minutes sobbing coz I hadn't realised the bell ringing. O wondered who it might be. Could it be one of his bitches? What'd they do to me if they found me in there. I debated whether to open the door, but the annoying bell continued to ring.
Without giving it a thought, I opened the door wide when my eyes came face to face with Vicky. My whole body shivered as everything thought scattered in my head.
" Vicky ", "Laila", " what are you doing here?", we said almost together as we continued to stare at each other.