junebug {adopted by chris motionless}

twenty one • i miss her

Lisa's POV (aka Maddie's mom)

I miss her. My daughter. My whole life.

Things got bad once I listened to her Mick, her dad, and started doing drugs. I didn't know it would get that out of hand. I remember the first time I did it.

"Come on, Lis, it's not gonna kill you."

"Mick, we have a daughter."

"She's only seven, she won't even find out. It's not like it's gonna effect anything."

I pursed my lips before I bent my head down towards the table, managing to snort the line of coke.

Maddie didn't know until a few months later. It was so hard when she walked in on me doing a line of coke on her eighth birthday.

"Momma, can't we go out and do someth-" she stopped talking and peeked over my shoulder.

I wiped my nose quickly. "What do you want?"

"Momma, that's bad! We learned about the in school!"

"Shut up, it's not effecting you," I growled.

"It's my eighth birthday and you're doing drugs instead of spending time with me?"

"Yeah, I am. You're just my dumb bitch of a daughter."

I felt tears form in my eyes. Once I got really bad into the drugs, I became very mean. Maddie would beg me to stop, but I wouldn't.

"Please stop!"

It had been three years since she found out. I groaned. "No! This is important to me."

I heard the front door open. Mick had a hooker slung over his shoulder. I sniffled and wiped my eyes.

"Hey, baby," I said.

"Shut up," he answered, going upstairs with the prostitute.

Maddie shook her head. "I'm going to bed."

I think the hardest part was the night she ran away.

I barged into Maddie's room. I had just drank almost a whole bottle of Jack Daniel's and done a line of coke.

"You're such a dumb bitch!" I shouted.

"Mom, stop!"

I screamed and threw the nearly empty bottle of Jack at the wall above her bed. Glass fell and scraped her arms, the alchocal dripping down the wall into her fresh cuts. She yelped.

"I hate you!" I yelled.

She sniffled. "I know."

I missed her. I wanted to see her. I wiped my eyes again and went over to a guard.

"Can I, uh, can I buy a call?"

"Yeah," he replied. "Come with me."

He led me to a phone. "Can I get Maddie Cerulli's number?"

"What's your relation?"

"Um, mother."

He typed in the number and I hit the call button. It rang three times before I heard her sweet voice answer.

"Hello?"

"Is this Maddie Cerulli?"

"Uh, yeah, why?" She asked.

"Don't hang up, but it's your ... mom," I said quietly.

She sighed loudly. "What do you want?"

"I want to visit you," I told her.

"One minute!" The guard called.

She sighed again. "Why?"

"Just to talk and see how you are."

The line was silent for a minute. "Okay."

Ooh, shit's going down! I wanted to give everyone a perspective of what Lisa went through.
     - salem ♡

Edited and revised
513 words