dad jokes //// sulay

one.

he always came in at the exact same time. at a half hour past noon, kim junmyeon would come in, quickly scan the menu before ordering whatever drink he wanted for the day.

the first time zhang yixing saw the male, he faintly remembers his heart skipping a beat before he choked on his own saliva. in front of him.

not the best first impression.

after that day, however, yixing did his best to keep his cool composure. more often than not, it didn't work, but there were those few times when he could happily say that he didn't forget to breathe.

"can i get the mango dragonfruit tea?" junmyeon asked, voice sweet, still staring at the menu unsurely, "is that any good?"

"y-yeah, it's g-great," yixing managed to get out without breaking into nervous sweats, "one of my favorites."

"alright, then, that and a cookie, please," junmyeon said. yixing smiled, nodding.

"that's all?" yixing asked, wanting to confirm. junmyeon nodded as he paid for his order, and yixing cleared his throat, "alright, and under w-what name would that be?"

yixing knew his name already, but it was common procedure to ask.

"junmyeon," the smaller answered.

"alright. it'll be done shortly," yixing said. junmyeon nodded, going to sit at the same two person booth he always sat out, pulling out a new book. yixing stole a glance at the cover.

how to make other people laugh successfully 

yixing held back a laugh, focusing on his job and totally not stealing looks at the man. he wrote his name down on the cup, along with the order. his hand hovered over the cup for a second longer, and he bit his bottom lip nervously. writing down a simple joke wouldn't do anyone any harm. based on his book, he seemed to enjoy humor.

what did the grape say when he got stepped on?

yixing didn't write the response, wanting to see if junmyeon would confront him about it or just completely ignore it altogether. he passed the cup to baekhyun, a coworker, who was in charge of making the actual drink. yixing was just there to collect payment and write down the orders. baekhyun rose an eyebrow at him when he saw the little note yixing wrote, but he didn't say anything, instead letting out a little smirk as he looked to junmyeon and then back at yixing.

you'd both be cute together, baekhyun mouthed at him. yixing nodded, agreeing.

"i know, right?" yixing whispered back to baekhyun, "i'm pretty sure he just thinks i'm a loser."

"because you choked on your spit the first time you saw him and turned fifty violent shades of red?" baekhyun whispered back just as quietly, "yeah, he probably does think you're a loser."

"thanks, baekhyun," yixing rolled his eyes. it was a slow day so far, maybe about only three people in the cafe, but they had already hit rush hour, so it made sense for there not to be many people.

"order for junmyeon," baekhyun called out, placing junmyeon's drink on the counter. junmyeon got up from his seat, retrieving his order without looking at the cup. he thanked baekhyun, then going to sit back at his little booth. yixing let out a sigh of disappointment. he didn't even glance at it.

yixing went on, though, wiping down some counters since there was no one ordering anything. he was bored. out of the corner of his eye, he saw junmyeon take a sip of his drink, slightly moving the cup so that the joke was right in front of him. his heart filled up with hope as he then watched junmyeon look at it, picking up the cup so he could see it a little better.

junmyeon, having read the joke, looked around the cafe confused until his eyes fell on yixing. the college student gave a smile, hoping that it was charming but knowing deep down that he probably looked like a constipated baby fox. he then went back to wiping tables, inwardly cursing himself. he could have smirked, winked, done anything. but instead he gave an awkward ass grin that probably made him look high.

god, i'm so fucking awkward, yixing thought to himself, fuck my life. i'm gonna die alone at this rate.

two new customers walked into the store, two squealy thirteen year old girls. yixing was quick to go back to the cash register, giving them a natural smile.

"hello, i'm yixing, what can i get for you today?" yixing asked.

"your number," one of the girls said bluntly. baekhyun, who overheard, let out a little laugh before covering it with a cough. yixing shot him a glare.

"i'm sorry, but that's not on the menu," yixing said, "i meant drinks."

"oh," the girl sighed, "you're probably gay, right? all the cute ones are always gay."

"bisexual, actually," yixing corrected, keeping his voice kind even though he was now annoyed, "and i'm way too old for you, sweetheart. now, what would you like to order?"

"two vanilla lattes," the other girl said, "um, can i get one of them with extra whipped cream? also, sorry about my friend, she's desperate for a boyfriend."

"sure, and it's alright," yixing said, "would that be all?"

"no, i want a cake pop too," the flirty girl said. yixing nodded, getting one for her.

"that'll be nine dollars and sixty seven cents," yixing said. they nodded, paying.

"and what name will that go under?" yixing asked.

"yunjin, thanks."

yixing wrote down the order, passing it to baekhyun uninterestedly. the two girls watched as baekhyun made it.

"how old do you have to be to work here?" the flirty girl asked.

"sixteen," baekhyun answered, giving her a small smile.

"can i get your number? you're cute too," the girl asked.

"sorry, i have a boyfriend," baekhyun replied. the girl pouted, but nodded.

"all the cute ones are always gay," the whined to her friend. yixing winced at her nasal voice.

yixing's eyes raked over the small cafe. it wasn't one of starbuck's biggest locations, which made it reasonable that it didn't get as much business as the other stores.

"hey, sorry. yixing, right?" junmyeon's honeyed voice asked, snapping yixing out of his thoughts, "sorry again. don't mean to disturb you."

"n-no, it's fine," yixing said. junmyeon flashed a quick smile.

"oh, great. anyways, i was just wondering what the grape said," junmyeon said, confusing yixing.

"i'm sorry, what?" yixing asked. junmyeon frowned a little, pointing to his almost empty cup.

"right here," junmyeon said, "did you not write this?"

"oh, that!" yixing suddenly remembered, "o-oh, um, the grape didn't say anything. it just, uh, let out a little wine."

the dad joke immediately registered in junmyeon's mind, and yixing watched as his eyes formed crescents. junmyeon let out a cute, clear laugh that made yixing's heart warm up a little bit.

"that's funny. i'll see you tomorrow, yixing," junmyeon said, lips wrapping around the straw of his drink as he finished its contents. yixing gulped as he watched, the tip of junmyeon's tongue darting out to moisten his bottom lip. yixing cleared his throat, looking away from the scene and forcing himself to meet junmyeon's eyes.

"y-yeah, i'll see you," yixing stuttered out. junmyeon bade him one last smile before leaving, throwing his cup away in the trash can besides the door. it didn't mean anything, though. the joke served its purpose. yixing successfully got to speak to junmyeon beyond taking his order. mission accomplished.

"dude, you are so gay for him," baekhyun laughed as he made the two lattes.

"shut up, let me bask in the moment, you asshole."