dad jokes //// sulay

thirty-seven.

"i'm worried about him," junmyeon confessed to sehun, "i think some kids are starting to pick on him at school."

"yah, annie's getting bullied?" sehun gaped, "but how? he's so funny, and handsome, and charming-"

"yeah, so was his dad, and he was bullied too," junmyeon said, "god, sehun, i remember it. the bullying. the constant fear of humiliation. i don't want my kid going through that. and worse, it's my own fault, it's cause he doesn't have a father."

"he has a father," sehun frowned, "he's just unaware that he exists."

"god, his dad would have handled this great," junmyeon groaned, head falling into his hands, "he'd have marched into that little club meeting, beat all of them at whatever they think they're good at, completely humiliate them, and then act like the angel he is so it would be impossible to hate him."

"i mean, we can jaemin about it," sehun said, scratching the back of his neck, "i mean, he's basically holding onto anson's arm every living second of the day, so if anson is getting pushed around, he would know."

"i guess," junmyeon said, "but there would be no way to find out unless we could get jaemin away from anson, and anson wouldn't allow that."

"so we could just ask him in front," sehun said, "or hey, i'll talk to anson, see if he tells me how bad it is."

"alright, that'll work. he'll probably tell you more since you're not an overprotective mom who once threatened to sue the entire school district because a teacher called anson clueless."

"good point," sehun nodded, "i mean, he's sleeping right now, so tomorrow then. after school?"

"no, we have to go to that celebrity party tomorrow," junmyeon whined, "you know who's probably gonna be there?"

"it'll be fine, myeon, really. you probably won't even bump into him," sehun said, "i mean, let's face it. either way, he'll probably avoid you."

"gee, thanks, sehun. thank you for reminding me that the love of my life, father of my child, hates my guts because i dumped him five years ago," junmyeon hissed quietly at sehun, as if someone would hear. sehun poured junmyeon another glass of wine, then doing the same to his own glass.

"to hatred and unplanned pregnancies," sehun said quietly, a tad bit drunk. they had already gone through two bottles, and they were both really starting to feel it. they clinked flutes, then taking large sips.

"that has to be the most depressing toast ever," junmyeon said after he swallowed.

"yehet!" sehun exclaimed, junmyeon hushing him.

"shut up, you'll wake the baby," junmyeon said.

"oops," sehun said, "you know what, junmyeon? it'll be alright. so what, you haven't talked to the love of your life in five years? you're doing damn well. you're a success, your kid praises the ground you walk on, and you're handling this whole single mom thing like a damned champion."

"correction," junmyeon hiccuped, "annie praises the ground his father walks on. he idolizes someone he's never even met. he simply just kisses my cheek every now and then."

"every now and then? myeon, the kid tells you he loves you every day," sehun said, "and if he had to pick from you and any idol of his, he'd always pick you."

"i know, he's great, isn't he?" junmyeon slurred. sehun burped, junmyeon and him laughing at it.

"yeah, he's awesome. such a smart kid," sehun said, "i reckon one day he'll really be something special."

"damn right," junmyeon said, "i mean, just look at his dad. it's in his blood."

"just look at you," sehun corrected, "it's in his blood."

"thanks," junmyeon laughed drunkenly, "you know, i was thinking of opening a restaurant."

"oh, it would totally be a hit," sehun said, "i could help with customers. aka i could take luhan. what're you gonna name it?"

"oh it's only a thought but i was thinking anson's place or something cheesy like that," junmyeon shrugged.

"or just 'anson's'. cheesy, classic, and annie would love it," sehun said, "but you do know you'd have to serve french toast all day long, right?"

junmyeon snickered, "i know, right? anson would kill me if i did otherwise."

"really, myeon. he'd love it," sehun said, "it would be the perfect pick-me-up for him."

"you think so?" junmyeon asked.

"yeah, i really do," sehun nodded. this was great. maybe he could work a new plan into this.

"yeah, i think i will then," junmyeon slurred, "i'm gonna call my interior designer and real estate agent, be right back."

"okay," sehun said, millions of ideas running through his head. he downed the rest of his wine, then pulling his cell phone out. new text to luhan.

to lulubear:

bab i think i just finded us a wayyyy

from lulubear:

sehun are you drunk

to lulubear:

drunk on brilliant ideas, bab

from lulubear:

whatever it is, i'm sure it can wait

from lulubear:

go to sleep before you're extra cranky tomorrow morning

to lulubear:

okayyyy byeeeeeeeee baby boyyy

"ugh he's the best," sehun said, putting his phone back in his pocket. junmyeon walked back into the kitchen.

"boom," junmyeon said, "been handled. the real estate agent is putting down an offer on this really nice space, and the interior designer is gonna get me some blueprints by tomorrow morning."

"they were still awake?" sehun asked, checking his watch, "it's nearly three a.m."

"yeah, they're workaholics and never sleep," junmyeon shrugged, "damn, we managed to crush three bottles tonight."

"new record, eh?" sehun laughed.

"totally. well, i'm gonna go to bed, i need to be up in a few hours so that anson can properly scream and jump on me," junmyeon sighed, "you'll clean up?"

"yeah, i got this one. go to bed, i'm not working tomorrow anyways," sehun shrugged.

"oh cool, will you pick up annie from school then? cause i need to go work out some details with the interior designer and real estate agent," junmyeon said, knowing that he'd have a pounding hangover tomorrow.

"sure," sehun nodded, "night, myeon!"

"night!"

sehun sighed, rubbing his hands together like a super villain.

super secret master plan #2 is ready to go.