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So this will have a trigger warning for self harm... if you feel the need to hurt yourself, tell someone or message me... please, I know what it's like. I'll always be here to talk...
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The day was a blah day. Really cold, overcast and misty. It was like the weather hadn't made up it's mind if it wanted to just open up and pour. Even with this horrible looking day, it made for great content for filming, and how the scene was suppose to be set.
Kiernan helped her girlfriend out as she looked around the filming sight, taking a deep breath of fresh air. "We should go camping sometime." She looked over at Y/n who gave her a raised eyebrow.
"You're kidding right? After seeing this show, I'm not going into the wood or a campsite, because just my luck, shit would happen to me." Kiernan laughed, causing Y/n to scowl at her girlfriend. "It's not funny! It could happen!" But her blonde haired girlfriend kept laughing, which caused Y/n to let out a huff.
"Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I mean we could go glamping. Like an R.V. and stuff, or play it safe, and do it in your backyard." A smirk comes across Y/n's lips, sending Kiernan a wink.
"We already did it in the backyard, remember?" The blonde haired actress blushes before rolling her eyes, and walking towards her trailer, leaving a laughing girlfriend behind. Y/n quickly catches up to her and interlaces their fingers together, giving the actress' hand a soft kiss.
"Charmer." Kiernan mumbled, as a smile come to Y/n's lips.
"I know, but you love me." Y/n stated proudly. Kiernan chuckled and nodded.
"Of course! Be stupid not too." Kiernan chuckled, walking up the trailers steps, opening the door and warm air rushes at them, warming up their cheeks as they quickly walk inside.
As the stylists get Kiernan ready, if feels weird for Y/n to watch her girlfriend, who's nineteen, turn into a sixteen year old girl, that's a witch. "This is so awkward..." Kiernan chuckles and sends her girlfriend a wink, but Y/n shakes her head and gets up, as Kiernan laughs.
Y/n walks out of the trailer, immediately getting cold again, as she shivers on the steps of the trailer. She would walk towards the car, but it left as soon as the two women stepped out of it. So, she walked towards the house, not really seeing a sign or anyone that said it wasn't okay to go inside and look. Honestly, it felt weird to even be on the set, knowing what this show was and how Y/n was raised. She felt like she was a sinner, which, in a way, being gay and all, she was. But this made it ten times as worse. And she has no doubt that she'll see inside the school, and probably hear things that she was never told to listen too. Basically, she was living a sinned life, but did she care, mostly not, but yea, she kinda did. She didn't want to mess with this shit. So, she did the right thing, sat on the front porch and just hung out.
She pulled out her phone and sighed, looking at the number of notifications on her phone, and just watching it rise every minute. She looked at what people were mentioning her in, hating some of the tweets that were saying shit about her, and wondered why she still hasn't deleted that damn app yet. Like, she wasn't famous, so why did she really need one? She has FaceBook, isn't that enough?
She quickly deleted the notification, before exiting out of the app, and scratching away at her arm, which was itching badly. "Y/n!" Kiernan smiled as she walked towards her girlfriend, leaning down as she pressed a kiss to Y/n's lips. "You okay? You look a bit... pale." Kiernan tried not to worry, knowing Y/n would've told her if something was wrong.
"Really? I mean, I would love to just tan, but this weather, y'know. Apparently it's never fucken sunny here, so there goes my idea." Y/n snaps her fingers and lets a sigh escape her lips. Kiernan chuckled and rolled her eyes, before she started to rub her girlfriend's back.
"What's wrong?" The blonde haired actress asks, looking Y/n in the eyes. Yea, she should've known she could never keep anything away from her smart girlfriend.
She clears her throat and sighs softly. "People are saying shit about me on Twitter again, but it's fine," she quickly reassurse, "I just need to get use to it, or might as well just delete the app."
"No, you need to show them you're strong and that-"
"But I'm not Ki, I fucken... every little detail they say about me, even if it isn't true, I start to think, "what if it is, what if they see something I can't," and I get anxious and nervous and start doubting myself. It's hard to breath sometimes and I-"
"You're cutting again..." it wasn't a question, and Y/n knows that. They stare at each other before Y/n sighs and looks away, the silence is the answer that Kiernan gets. "Baby... why?"
"Because it felt like everything was getting bundled up and before I knew it.... look, I haven't done it since... and I'm sorry for even doing it."
"What happened to therapy?"
"With Dr. Nonkal? He was a fucken creep! He didn't care about anything I said and told me it was all in my mind, that my brain was being over-stimulated, and that I need to relax for a few hours. He even told me I should try and get laid, go to a fucken bar and pick a guy up. And when I told him I had a girlfriend, he chuckled and nodded, telling me that's what the problem was, I was gay and this was the way God was punishing me. So, I walked out." Kiernan frowned, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend's waist and pulls the slightly taller and bigger girl in her lap, which causes Y/n to laugh.
"Shhh, you do this for me, so I'm repaying the favor, so shush." Y/n rolled her eyes and sighed, presses a kiss to her girlfriend's cheeks, and then forehead.
"I love you, and thank you, for everything."
"I love you too, and if it happens again, please let me know okay? Talk to me if you feel like you have to do it again, okay?" Y/n nods, and they stay cuddled up until a few cast members find them there. Y/n was lucky to have Kiernan understand, and stand by her. She was in love with her, and knew that Kiernan would be able to help her, no matter what was going on.
