Chapter 27: Pull the Trigger, Now I'm Gone

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Alice's POV

"We were waiting for the ultra sound and when it finally happened, we found out it-" I can't tell him.

"Come on Alice you can tell us," Tony said. I shook my head and looked to Jaime who opened his mouth.

"We had a miscarriage," tears were now steaming his face. More fell from my eyes in the same streaks as they had been for days.

"Oh my god. How did this happen?"

"I'm not strong enough," I sighed and rolled out of Jaime's arms. My face hit the floor but I deserve the pain.

"You know what, I should just fucking pull the goddamn trigger. Just put a fucking gun in my mouth and pull the stupid trigger," I mumbled.

"No! Alice this isn't happening! Not now not, not ever!" Vic yelled at me.

'You know what Ali? I think you should pull the trigger. Jump off a bridge, hang you frustration, or bleed your feelings. Even better this time you can overdose, that's right back to your old ways. Just DO IT!' my mind echoed.

The voice so convincing. Almost like it was waiting for me. I know what to do.

I jumped from the floor. "Hey guys can you go get me some ice cream?" I asked still crying.

"Sure thing baby. Tony can you watch Ali, maybe take her to the park?" Jaime asked as he rubbed my back.

Fuck! My plan, to shit. Maybe I'll drown myself. A wicked grin spread across my face like an infectious disease.

"Are you ok?" Mike asked concerned. I shook my head but didn't let the grin fall.

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