COMPLICATED.

CHAPTER 27

ARE YOU JEALOUS?

New York decided to gift us a breathtaking day today. Nick and I are taking advantage of it, basking in the sun stretched out on blankets in the middle of The Great Lawn. The grass is cool, but the warmth radiating from the ground feels perfect.
​"Stop eating, you’ve almost finished them all!" I scold him, though without much conviction.
"You should have gotten chocolate ones too, instead of always trying to spoil me," he shoots back with a sly smirk, popping the last bit of cupcake into his mouth.
​In recent days, anxiety had tied my stomach in knots, but Nick has this absurd power: he manages to sweep away every problem I have—or at least, that’s how it used to be. Now, I’ve definitely become more stubborn. His laughter distracts me from my pessimistic thoughts. I wonder how a person can be so luminous under the sunlight; he really should stop being so damn charming.
​I’m not the only one who thinks so, unfortunately. Ever since we arrived, there hasn't been a girl who hasn't turned to look at him, scanning him from head to toe. I feel a sharp annoyance rising in my chest, an irritation I can’t control. One little blonde in particular has been staring at him for an hour, whispering comments to her friends between giggles.
You’ve looked long enough; you can turn the other way now, thanks.
​"Emma?"
I continue to stare at her with murderous intensity.
"Eeeemmaaaa?"
Sweetheart, look at the view, the trees, the clouds... anything that isn't him.
"Emma! Are you there or did you fall into another dimension?" Nick exclaims, waving his hand in front of my eyes to snap me out of it.
​"Yes, yes, I’m here," I snap, glaring at that dizzy girl. Emma, have you really started insulting strangers? Wait at least ten more seconds before moving on to heavy insults.
Nick watches me, confused, then follows the trajectory of my gaze. The girl immediately takes the opportunity to give him a dazzling smile and flutter her eyelashes as if she has a nervous tic. Keep that up and I’ll pluck them out myself.
​"Oh ho, are you serious? Are you jealous, Hamilton? I didn't expect such a blatant reaction!" he exclaims, almost shouting so the passersby can hear too.
Me? Jealous? Impossible. You can't be jealous of something—or rather, someone—who doesn't belong to you. It’s just... territorial anger. Right?
When in doubt, keep lying, the cynical voice in my head suggests.
"In your dreams, Cold," I retort, using his last name because I know how much he hates it.
​In response, he grabs my hand and pulls me toward him with a firm tug. I find myself pressed against his chest, wrapped in his scent and the warmth of his skin. He begins to kiss my forehead and cheeks with a tenderness that takes my breath away, then casts a satisfied glance at the girl, who, embarrassed, finally decides to relocate. Good girl.
"Do you feel better now?" he whispers in my ear, in that low voice that makes me vibrate deep in my bones.
I hold him tighter. I’m going to miss this feeling to death. "Don't ruin this moment. We won't have many more once I’m in London."
"Speaking of which... there’s something I want to tell you, I..."
​The ring of my phone pierces the magical silence we had created. I pull away from him and look at the screen. My heart skips a beat. I jump to my feet instantly, as if I’d been bitten by a viper. Nick looks at me, perplexed.
020. The London area code.
It can’t be. I’m not ready. Not now.
​"What’s happening? Who is it?" he asks, standing up as well, worried by my sudden paleness.
I can’t speak. The phone keeps vibrating in my hand, heavy as a boulder.
"Emma, answer it! Who is it?"
"It’s... it’s London!" I murmur with a thin voice.
"And what are you waiting for?! Answer it immediately!"
"No... they’re probably calling to tell me I’m not good enough. To reject me."
Where did the optimistic Emma of the past go? Nick snatches the phone from my hand and presses the green button, forcing me to react.
​"Hello?" my voice trembles.
"Hello, am I speaking with Emma Hamilton?"
"Yes, this is she."
Nick leans in close, anxious. I turn on the speakerphone so he can hear every word.
"This is Julie, from the Royal Academy of Music. I’m calling on behalf of the admissions committee. We’ve reviewed your profile and the videos you sent us... and I must say, we were impressed. It would be a shame to miss out on a talent like yours. We’ve seen your performances on social media and spoke with Juilliard; they confirmed everything we thought. We would be honored to offer you a spot in our college. What do you think?"
​Nick holds back a shout of pure joy and starts hopping around the grass like a child, while I press my hands over my mouth to keep from bursting into tears. What do I think?! I think...
"I think I would be thrilled to study with you! It’s an immense honor!"
"Perfect. We just have one request: you would need to be here in London for the first week of June for orientation. If you confirm your attendance, we will send all the details via email immediately."
​June. That’s so soon. My family, Paul, Aria... and him.
"It’s okay, you have to accept," Nick whispers, placing a hand on my shoulder.
It’s my chance. Now or never. It’s time to choose myself.
"Yes, I accept. Thank you so much."
"Great, then see you soon, Emma."
​I end the call and hurl myself into Nick’s arms, screaming with joy. He lifts me off the ground and we start spinning around, laughing like crazy.
"I can't believe it! They chose ME!"
"Of course they chose you! You’re an incredible singer, Emma. You have a talent that shines from miles away and you are a wonderful person. You’ll be the best one there, I’m certain of it."
​Swept up by the adrenaline and an emotion I can no longer contain, I take his face in my hands. A second later, without even understanding how it happened, I am kissing him. And this time, I have no intention of running away.
I feel Nick stiffen for a moment, caught by surprise, then he pulls me away slightly, holding my arms.
"Wow..." he sighs, looking at me with wide eyes.
My heart sinks into my shoes. Rejected again.
"Sorry, I shouldn't hav—"
​I can't finish the sentence because Nick closes the distance between us. His lips crash onto mine with a desperate hunger, a silent answer to all our silences. It’s a kiss that tastes of waiting, of fear, and of a truth we could no longer hide.
His hands slide into my hair, pulling me close as if he’s afraid I might vanish, while I cling to his shoulders, trying to fuse us together. Our lips seek each other, recognize each other, and when our tongues intertwine for the first time, I feel an electric shock run through every inch of my skin. It’s a passionate, deep kiss that tastes of strawberries and everything we have been to each other for years.
​In this moment, nothing else around us exists. There is no crowd in Central Park, no London, no past. It’s just the two of us, Emma and Nick, and the sweet taste of a happiness that finally belongs to me.