COMPLICATED.

CHAPTER 31

WORRIES

I can't say that I'm surprised by his presence, I'm getting used to his possessive and protective side, even though I don't understand why he's making all this mess.
Yeah, I know he cares a lot about me, but it's too much, and like my mother always said, when it's too much is enough, he doesn't have to run around like a crazy man all over town, this attitude  is starting to annoy me.
<< Cold! What a surprise to find you here, what a coincidence! Isn't it, Emma?! >> Aria exclaims by crossing her long legs and her arms, she is definitely enjoying the scene while I just want to disappear right now. Did he really have to come in when I was talking about our "moment"?!
The situation is already embarrassing and Aria certainly isn't of a great help, I begin to think she likes to see me in trouble.
I get it, let's face this.
With great courage I finally decide to look him in the face.
He's breathless, his hair all messed up and his face wet.
Me and my new friend in hangover's clothes and him all sweaty. They're definitely gonna kick us out of this bar.
I was right, he ran all over town or, as usual, he left his car in the middle of traffic and came straight here. Then there's something left of the old Nick!
His gaze is impassive, I can't see any anger or worry, I know he's waiting for my usual outburst but I won't give it to him this time, let's see how you react to this...
<< Exactly, what are you still doing there? Sit down. >> I say showing to him one of my fake smiles.
Aria is stunned by my unusual calm and so, to make her understand everything, I wink while whispering to her to play along.
I move his chair so the perfect green-eyed guy can sit next to me.
He sits down and I notice from under the table that his hands are shaking and he tries to stop them by covering one on top of the other in a frenetic way. Okay, I didn't know it was so bad!
He remains silent for a few seconds until Aria, no longer enduring this embarrassment, decides to break the ice.
<< Soooo...>>
<< Are you okay? >> he suddenly says leaning a hand over mine.
I look around and it looks like all of New York's high society is staring at us, they're not used to these public effusions while Aria seems to be enjoying the show, all she needs is popcorn right now.
By not receiving my response, he weaves his fingers to mine, causing me small but strong shivers all over my spine. You can't do this to me, not right now.
I have to be strong and not fall into the temptation to kiss him with the same passion as before.
I'm reassuming an upright position and starting my act as a good girl.
<< I don't think this is the right time to talk about it now, Nick. >>  I whisper to him, smiling at all the staff in the room.
<< It is, because I just did a sort of marathon just to see you and not fight that moron. >> he whispers while obsessively observing my lips.
I'm not gonna walk into your trap that easily, forget it.
<< It wasn't necessary, I'm fine.
I wrote you some messages and it ended there. >>
Aria notices the cold air between us and intervenes in my defense.
<< In fact, her messages were clear, I don't think th.... >>
<< According to you only messages can be enough to reassure me?! You were alone with him, you kicked me out and left me no choice! >> says Nick raising his voice and dropping the chair backwards causing a loud noise.
<<  You have to stop interrupting her while she's talking, don't be rude! >> I say quietly as I approach him in an attempt to calm him down once and for all.
In that moment I see from behind his back the manager of the bar walking straight towards us, there it is, outside the bar. Fantastic!
<< Excuse me, I must ask you kindly to get out of here, we can't tolerate all this noise. >>
Nick rolls annoyed his eyes , turns towards him until he's in front of his face , as a sign of challenge.
Oh God, what is he doing?
<< Look, I don't hear all this "noise" you're talking about, it all seems  quiet,  I don't think my father would have liked tha someone accused me of these things. Don't you think so? >> he says repeatedly pointing his index finger at his chest.
What? Don't tell me that...
The manager  stutters nonstop.
<< Mr. Cold, I am, I am...sorry, it will not happen again. I'll go now, good stay, greetings for your mother! >>
He comes out of the room and puts his hand on his forehead for embarrassment.
I know now, his father was a member of Penrose, and I don't know of how many other shops or restaurants all over the district.
Nick never loved taking advantage of the fortune he left him after he died, what's going on with him?
Nick squints his eyes and takes deep breaths until he notices how scared I am and at that moment he returns to be the boy I've known my whole life.
I realize now that some tears are slowly coming down from my face, it's my reaction when I'm afraid and he knows it perfectly.
After the all Nick's discussion, everyone look the other way while Aria keeps staring at us and looking for a way out.
Absolute silence, no words, no one dares to speak for a few minutes.
Nick's the first to do it.
<< Em, I'm...>>
<< Let's go outside. >> I can only say.
He stares at me. I can't stand here with everyone staring at us, it's between him and me.
<< No please, I can't stand another discussion. >>
<< It won't be if we get out of this damn bar right now. Aria, do you mind? I'll leave you the money, I'll pay for it and you can have the rest. >> I say exasperated.
<< Fine. See you later. >>
<< Later? >>
Nick gives to her a death stare.
<< Oops! >> she says between some laughs.
What is going on?
<< I don't understand...>> I say confused.
<< Oh, you'll understand soon... >>
<< Aria. >> whispers Nick, is on the verge of bursting definitely.
<< Alright, you two better go now. >>
I decide to let it go, I just want to get out of here.
I'm heading out of here as fast as I can until I'm finally out in the open air, away from those snobs.
What worries me most right now is my best friend, I'm leading him to exasperation, I'm hurting him, and this is not good at all.
I'm waiting with my arms folded for him to walk out that door, which he does in the istant I think about it.
He's scared, I can tell by the way he looks at me, in a different way that I've only understood these last few days.
He's afraid of me, he's afraid of losing me, maybe. Or maybe not.
<< Emma...>>  he says, approaching with a moderate step towards me but my hand blocks it before my mind does, or my heart.
<< What was that? >> I say pointing the building behind him.
My voice is hoarse as his, after shouting for days I can only whisper instead of talking.
<< You're right, I shouldn't have said that to Aria, she just can't keep her mouth shut. >>
<< I'm not talking about her, I'm talking about the terrible show of before. >>
He looks down and his eyes focus carefully on everything around him, except me.
I insist on an answer because I know it will be an eternity.
<< So? >>
<< I exaggerated, I admit it. >>
<< You don't do these things. >>
<< I know it. >>
<< You don't use your father's name to get these results. >>
<< I know. >> he says sighing.
<< What's happening to you? >>
<< I can't stand it. >>
I swear, the longer my life goes, the more it feels like counseling!
<< What Nick? Talk to me. >>
<< They have abandoned me. You're leaving me, you'll abandon me. >> he yells and keeps not looking at me.
Those are the words I've always feared, the words I've always run from.
I take him by the arm and pull him towards me, gently wrapping him in my arms. A hug that could last until the end of time, I wouldn't mind.
<< I'm here, I'll always be by your side, you'll never be alone, not until I'm alive. You won't get rid of me
so easily. >>
He sinks his face into the recess of my neck and I enjoy every second of this perfect moment.
<< I'm just stressed, I was worried, I didn't know how it would end with Leo and I couldn't do anything because you stopped me and now I can't stay away from you, not after that kiss... >>
Wow. Stay calm, he didn't say anything.
He just said he can't stay away from you, it's nothing. Who am I kidding?!
The girl in me is going crazy of joy.
I don't have to be so weak in front of his romantic words, remember you'll have to leave, you'll be far away and you can't afford to suffer anymore. I have to pretend it didn't mean anything, I just have to.
I walk away from his grip and take a few steps back.
<< It was just a kiss. >>
<< Really? >> he says looking at me as if he has finally conquered his favorite prey.
He walks slowly towards me and eliminate the distance between us.
Please don't, I can't give up that easily.
Approach her face to my cheek gently.
Don't lose control, don't kiss him.
I resist the temptation but suddenly I hear his voice whispering in my ear.
<< It felt more like a kiss, I think you're falling in love with me too much. >>