COMPLICATED.

CHAPTER 29

THE DISCUSSION IS OVER

Leo, the boy I " loved " from the first moment, who I always put first, respected and supported. And now I don't even recognize anymore the person in front of me, who has become?
It only took a second, a single huge mistake to change the idea that I've always had of him.
I thought he was the only one, that we would stay together forever but after everything that happened with Nick I have so many doubts and I'm starting to think that I was never really in love, I never felt what I felt until a few minutes ago, it's definitely not love but...I don't know, it's all so complicated.
One thing is certain: Leo is no longer part of my life, he humiliated me , wounded and disappointed , I have endured his wickedness too much , it is time to separate us, we have to go on our separate ways.
But I can't help but ignore his insults.
My blood boils like never before, he's become the only person that makes me angry in a few seconds.
All this crap has to end now.
My patience has reached its limit, now I only have so much anger to vent and I decide to hit him where it hurts the most.
<< I don't have to be ashamed of anything and you know it very well, if I were you I would look myself in the mirror , I don't want to add anything else, I already told you days ago, you have to let me go. I'm free to do what I want, you're no one to tell me what to do and what not to do. It's over. >>
<< How long has this been going on?! >> he says taking great breaths in an attempt to recover oxygen.
Despite everything I don't like seeing him like this but he hurt me too much and the sooner we get away from peach other the better, I don't want to get any more trouble around the corner.
Wait a second...
<< Are you suggesting that I cheated on you with Nick?! Tell me you're joking! >> I scream walking back and forth in an attempt to calm me.
Leo gets up quickly from the hammock until I find him in front of my face. He won't hurt me, the other day he got carried away by desperation, he can't really do it but his expression says something else. I sigh scared and step back.
Stay away from me.
He notices my reaction and desperately , or at least that's what I think, moves away a few steps. We look into each other's eyes but his gaze is empty, no reaction.
After a few seconds he begins to stutter something meaningless.
<< I- I'm sorry, I didn't want to scare you. It's normal that I think this, everyone tell me that they already see you with another guy, how should I react? >>
<< YOU?! Have you ever wondered what I was thinking when I found you naked with another girl?! How should I react? I was sick for days, vomiting, not eating , I didn't even sleep and I always had the same nightmares... >>
<< Same nightmares? >> he murmurs without taking his eyes off mine.
No, not him too.
<< Just don't. The discussion is over. >> I reply annoyed and quickly to avoid talking about it.
No one must know.
<< But what are you... >>
<< I said that the discussion is over . Is it clear?! >> I say angry and raising my voice.
He shakes his head but fortunately decides to let it go.
<< Do you love him? >>
What? I stare at him without understanding what he's really asking me.
<< Do you love him more than me? >>
Nick... you can't really ask me! He has no right, but I'll do everything to get him out of my way. << I don't love anyone, Nick was close to me during these days and the rest is no longer your concern. Now you have to go please, don't make things harder. >>
<< You...don't love me anymore? >>
His tears are all over his face, they don't stop and I don't know what to do.
I'm no longer his Emma. The girl who allowed him everything is dead and will never see her again.
You must tell him the true and cruel truth.
<< No. It's over Leo, I'm going far away from here and I'll never see you again, this is over. >>
<< You know that I will come to London if it is necessary, right? >>
Oh God, how does he even know?! Who told him?!
<<Everyone knows Emma! I always know everything, especially if it's about you. >>
I can only imagine to do something without all of New York knowing about it.
You in London? Never, ever.
<< I don't care what you do, this is the last time I see you. Goodbye Leo...>>
I immediately turn away from him to avoid goodbyes and this embarrassing situation but I'm stopped by him that in a second turns me on his side finding his lips on mine, not even giving me time to react.
I try to move or to get away but I can't, he keeps my head still with his strong hands.
His tongue slips into my mouth without permission, his lips move frenetically but mine remain firm, I can't move. I'm petrified.
<< Please... >> he prays to me while he keeps kissing me.
No, no, no!
<< Leo, go away. >> I whisper pushing my hands on his chest.
Leo, Sasha, the pain, thesadness of these days.
And his behavior...
I can't do it, I don't want to.
<< Leo, stop it! >> I shout at him running away from where he is.
He's upset, he tries to come closer but I strike him with my eyes.
I wipe my lips with the back of my hand, I want to eliminate this moment forever. I'm disgusted.
<< Emma... >>
<< Leave. >>
<< I...>
<< Get out of my life. Now! >>
He goes away, his face is wet of tears, but it doesn't affect me anymore.
I don't have time to take a second off that my phone rings.
A message from Aria.

How are you? Are you okay? Actually don't say a word, tell me everything in front of a coffee. The Penrose in 10 minutes? ;)

Since when do she has my number? I must have given it to her while I was drunk.
Well, good idea... I take my purse and head to the bar to meet my new friend.