COMPLICATED.

CHAPTER 40

COLD ENTERPRISES

The constant fog covers the entire streets of London and doesn't allow me to reach the incessant screams that beg me to help them, to be close to them. I'm out of breath, the air is unbreathable and the more I reach those voices the more they enter in my head, confusing my thousand thoughts and then turning them into my greatest fears.
I can't give up, I have to move on, I have to help them, and I'm the only one who can do that. My legs give out and I fall down on the ground when I finally reach the place where the screams get more intense. I'm trapped in the muddy soil, lying down and unable to stand up and react. My face leans to the side to breathe better but a small drop of tear escapes from my left eye when in front of me suddenly appears a house visibly dirty on the outside, with gray, high and dull plants that seem to hide it from the rest of the world, abandoned. Abandoned to its fate.
Between the sudden rain and the strong thunderstorms stands out above all that familiar sound, the one I have always hated and I fear to live every time.
Only two clean but deafening gunshots and the screams immediately cease to exist.
From the small fogged window I glimpse the reflection of two figures falling in slow motion backwards, I can recognize them. I shake in fear when I hear the sudden thud when they reach the floor, but they will not rise again. As the tears quickly descend from my face I watch scared the little boy with brown hair tending to blond who begs the fuzzy hand in front of him not to pull the trigger. His strangled, terrified voice echoes in my head. He holds a teddy bear in his hands and holds it firmly to his chest, as if it were his only life expectancy.
That bear, only one person can have it.
No, get away from him!
I don't think about it for a second, with all the strength I have left I run to the door and enter into that hellhole. The moment I place my first foot inside the house I feel the umpteenth blow and a weak lament before hearing the same thud.
The lifeless bodies of mom, dad and Paul lie on the filthy floor, only a huge lake of blood widens and extends for most of this. I hasten to join them and cradle their heads that dangle unnecessarily on my abdomen while behind me I sense the lightning gesture of someone pointing the weapon on my neck.
Out of the corner of my eye, I recognize that blurry shadow figure that comes closer and closer to me, right behind my shoulders. Then the hand points precisely at the emerald-eyed boy by shifting attention to him.
I sob desperately when my blurred eyesight focuses slowly on him and I realize what's about to happen.
<< Take me, not her! I'm not worth anything, she is! >> he screams decided but at the same time scared.
<< Nick, don't! >> I exclaim intimidated by offering him an arm, a way to save himself, to run away.
But he, with tears in his eyes, refuses by nodding with his head and tries to reassure me by pretending one of his best smiles.
<< It's okay, it'll be fine...>
<< Don't shoot, please! Don't take him off me too! >> I beg by turning to the shadow and trying to take the gun from the hands. I can't believe that such a tiny object could create so much suffering in my heart. But the hoarse voice of Nick repeatedly murmuring my name stops me from my intent. I turn my eyes on him, his eyes are half-closed and red as he stares at me and raises his hands in the air as a sign of surrender.
<< You won't save me this time, now it's my turn to do it. Don't give up, don't leave me! >> I promise him in a whisper, between a tear and the other.
<< Emma, I- >>
And here's the decisive blow that hits right into his heart. He jumps by unnecessarily covering himself with his hands the hit point before stare on me for the last time and falling down, reaching the rest of my family.
They didn't abandon me, they didn't do it, the shadow always took them away from me one way or the other.
The shadow wiped out everything I cared about.
I've lost them before my eyes, and nothing can bring them back.
And now I feel like a ghost wandering around this earth and I have no reason to exist anymore, nothing makes sense anymore.
<< Kill me too, I beg you. Put an end to this suffering! >> I ask, clinging desperately to her feet almost invisible.
<< Oh no, my darling. >> chuckles and rants amused at my reaction.
<< I'm just getting started! Now it's just the two of us against the whole world...>> continues laughing and dragging my weak body to the ground and out of that place, where everything suddenly becomes darker and stifling.
In a world without them, far from them.
Away from him.
No, no, no, no!