COMPLICATED.

CHAPTER 16

GRADUATION DAY

After a long drive we finally arrive to school.
How many people will be there today?
Not even the time to answer mentally to this question that I already see a remarkable group of people intent, like us, to reach the football field where the ceremony will take place shortly.
I already predict that there will many of us. Once I get there I am speechless.
There will be more than a thousand people.
Everyone is elegant and smiling.
At the center of the field they set up a huge stage where the teachers and the principal are already seated.
We are also surrounded by lots of banners that say #GraduationDay or #Class2018.
What's the point of having it so many? There's no danger of us forgetting what we're here for.
No Emma, hold your tongue.
Don't be a bitch today.
This is one of the most important days of your life that you will cherish forever in your memories.
I can't, can I run away now?
My mother seems to read my thoughts and pushes me more and more towards the right side of the stage, where people have already gathered.
It is total chaos.
No one can stand still. They all move frantically.
Most of the guys take selfies that they will surely post later on social web while on the other side of the field there are some parents who talk to each other and brag about their son.
I hear them exclaim everything and more.
"My son is the first of the class!"
"My son is a very good painter! "
"My daughter will go to Yale to study law!"
My mother, under different circumstances, would already be there to brag about me too. But now what should she say?
"My daughter was supposed to go to Juilliard, but since she has to find herself, she decided to drop everything and now she doesn't even know where to go."
It's the truth and I'm not ashamed of it, but it's better to stay out of the spotlight today, so that everything will end as soon as possible.
<< Smile! >> mom exclaims taking me back to reality.
She's holding my father's camera.
Oh no, no, no. No way.
<< Do we have to do this right now? >> I ask annoyed .
<< You're joking right?! Today you graduate!
You didn't really think I wouldn't take any pictures of you?! >>
Uhm, yes. I knew my mom would force me to do this.
My father begs me with his eyes to do as she says and I decide to avoid a further quarrel.
<< Go ahead! >> I say resigned.
I strive to bring out my best smile and put myself in a perfect pose.
My mother keeps taking pictures, she's going to run out of cartridges.
<< Mom, I'd say that's enough for now. >>
<< Look! There's Nick! >> exclaims my brother pointing at the opposite side of the camp.
Nick! Where?!
And there he is, after two days I finally see him.
It seems like an eternity.
He wears an electric blue jacket matching his tie, a white shirt, black pants and elegant shoes of the same color.
His hair and eyes are lighter because they reflect sunlight. He gives his dazzling smile to his family as he puts his arm around his mother's waist.
He's really handsome.
No, remember that you're angry with him. Don't think about these things.
After a few seconds he looks around and finally he crosses my gaze.
I missed him so much.
We have to resolve this situation immediately but he doesn't seem to think the same way. Infact he puts on his tunic with a fast gesture then he stops staring at me and follows his relatives to their seats. 
Why does he act like this?!
Now I have lost his friendship too?!
I need some explanations and I will have them.
Just as I decide to confront him, the principal announces to take our seat to begin the ceremony.
Awesome, if we continue like this we will never solve anything.
My parents and Paul are already sitting in their seats while I go looking for mine.
Found it. I'm two rows ahead of them.
<< So we meet again...>> says Aria sitting next to me.
<<Yeah, it looks like it. >> I answer laughing.
<< Well, let's finish this chapter of our life together! >>
I don't know why but this phrase said by her warms my heart and reassures me.
I smile and she immediately smiles too.
<< Yes, let's do it! >>

After several cheesy speeches by some professors, and by our school representative, the principal begins to list the names of the students and after some time comes my turn. It's my time.
I quickly reach the stage and shake the hand of all the teachers and finally Mrs Sanchez hands me the scroll.
<< Well done, Hamilton! >> she whispers and winks to me.
I look for my mother and father in the crowd. They are crying with joy, as I suspected.
Paul applauds, as well as Nick.
I' m not alone today.
I feel happy, at least for now.
I get off the stage and return to my place.
After calling all the people in the list the principal concludes the ceremony.
<< Ladies and gentlemen, I am extremely happy to introduce you the graduates of this year of our high school, the class 2018! Now without further ado I leave the stage to our quarterback, Leonard Huston! >>
Everyone applauds, except me of course.
I'm forced to hear him talk about his dedication to the school but especially to the team, which allowed him to achieve his goals. He also says thanks to the professors, to all students and to people who accompanied him during these years.
In that moment he crosses my gaze.
Don't you dare, I no longer exist for you.
He takes a long breath and ends his speech with a general thanks and reciting the motto of the team.
Once he gets off the stage he gets run over by a girl who hugs him and then kisses him passionately.
Wait, don't tell me that...
It's not possible, it's not true.
Tell me that Sasha isn't kissing him right now.
Everyone's staring at me.
No, please.
<< What a bitch! >> Aira whispers disgusted. She looks at me, she seeks my reaction.
I remain petrified.
I feel all the eyes on me.
I hear their whispers.
It's intolerable.
What a humiliation!
I have to get out of here.
I get out of my chair so fast that it falls off.
I run out.
<< Emma, wait! >>
I hear Leo's voice behind me.
Don't follow me.
Go away.