COMPLICATED.

CHAPTER 28

NEW FEELINGS

​I had always imagined that Nick’s lips were soft, but today’s direct experience was a revelation that shook me to my core. I literally lost myself in that kiss; I let myself be carried away by the flow of the moment, completely forgetting the rest of the world. It felt as if we had been teleported to another planet, a plunge into an unknown that turned out to be... overwhelming. I had never felt anything like this with Leo.
​Of course, being kissed by him was pleasant, but with Nick, it’s indescribable. I don’t know anything anymore; my certainties have crumbled. Everything is chaotic and yet, strangely, beautiful. The way he held me tight, as if he were terrified of seeing me vanish through his fingers, communicated more to me than a thousand words. For the first time, I felt free, an integral part of something... of someone.
​I thought I loved Leo to madness, but then why did I never feel this internal earthquake that Nick’s gestures trigger? Is it possible that what I felt was just strong affection and not true love? I’m submerged in doubts. I can never enjoy the present without my rational side starting to dissect every emotion, creating problems where there shouldn’t be any. But then again, this is who I am, for better or worse.
​It was the longest kiss of my life. After that first moment of bewilderment, we stayed there cuddling and kissing for hours, even though to us it felt like only a few heartbeats. We couldn’t pull away from each other. And his compliments... they have a different flavor now. Before, I accepted them with the same naturalness as those from Paul, but now, hearing them whispered in my ear while he gently brushes the long blonde strands from my face gives me shivers down my spine. What a divine feeling.
​I watch him, almost enchanted, as he backs out of the parking space. I’m struggling to process that it really happened. We haven’t had the chance to name what occurred yet, and I know I shouldn’t let my imagination run wild, but how can I stay level-headed? Look at him: that perfect profile, the athletic physique, the tuft of hair messy from the wind coming through the window, those eyes that seem to read right through me, his smile... and that laughter that tastes like freedom.
Emma, get a grip! I warned you! Shut up, stupid conscience. Today I have no intention of listening to you. I just want to breathe in this happiness until the very last second.
​We spend the drive listening to our favorite playlist, switching from rhythmic tracks to romantic ballads that seem written just for us. When the notes of Just the Way You Are by Bruno Mars fill the cabin of his red Mercedes, Nick doesn't stop smiling at me. I know him too well not to understand that those lyrics are meant for me, and I can’t help but blush violently. Noticing my embarrassment, he grabs my hand and brings it to his lips to kiss it. Those lips... could it get any better than this?
​Unfortunately, we reach the house all too quickly, and waiting for us at the gate is anything but a warm welcome. Nick stiffens instantly. Leo is there, and he looks petrified seeing us arrive together; he must have figured it all out in a second.
"Tranquilla, stay in the car," Nick whispers to me in a tone that tries to be calm but betrays an electric tension.
​Leo lunges toward us like a fury and, before I can react, wrenches my door open with violence.
"GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS CAR RIGHT NOW!" he screams, slamming his palms against my seat.
How dare he? Has he gone crazy?
I decide not to give him an opening; I don’t want to sink to his level. I turn my gaze away, ignoring his unbearable face.
"Did you hear me?! I said get out!" he continues to bellow, attracting the attention of the neighbors who are starting to lean out of their windows.
​"That’s enough," Nick hisses, bolting out of the car.
I feel like all hell is about to break loose. In an instant, Nick is an inch from Leo’s face.
"Try saying that again in front of me if you have the guts, asshole!" he yells back, shoving him away to get him away from me. Leo looks ready to throw a punch.
Oh no, not another fight.
​I run out and get between them, pushing them away from each other.
"Are you two insane? The whole neighborhood is watching!" I mutter in a panic.
"Oh my god, I’m calling the police!" an elderly woman screams from the opposite sidewalk, phone already in hand.
Ma’am, please, that’s the last thing we need.
"No, don't worry, it’s just a misunderstanding between friends, we’re settling it right now!" I try to reassure her with a very forced smile, even though I’m trembling inside.
​I turn toward Leo, trying to maintain an appearance of calm.
"Go into the garden and wait for me there. And try not to make any more scenes, please."
"You’re a dead man to me," Leo hisses at Nick, pointing his finger with hatred. Nick responds with a very visible middle finger.
"Nick, you can go, I’ll handle this," I say, turning to him.
He steps closer and caresses my cheek. "No, I’m not leaving you alone with this guy, it’s out of the question."
"Nick, I’m begging you..." I insist, gesturing toward the small crowd gathered a little way off.
He sighs, defeated. "Fine. But call me as soon as you’re done."
"I will."
"What a pathetic scene... makes me want to vomit," Leo comments, faking a gag. What a terrible actor; I almost pity him. Luckily, he disappears inside before I can answer him properly.
​"Go, it’s okay," I tell Nick. He nods reluctantly, gets back in the car, and speeds off, making the engine roar.
There. Another perfect moment ruined by that creep in front of me. I shove the gate open and reach Leo, who has made himself comfortable on the hammock.
​"What else do you want from me? Haven't I been clear enough? You need to vanish from my life once and for all," I say through gritted teeth, trying to control my rage. He doesn’t deserve to see me lose my cool.
"Did you think I wouldn't find out? That I wouldn't hear that after two days you were already making out with someone else? And not just anyone, but Nick! I knew it! Seth followed you and reported every single detail to me. You disgust me!"
I’m left speechless for a moment in horror. "Do you even realize what you’re saying? You had your friends stalk me? YOU disgust me! What I do is none of your business anymore, now get out!" I hiss, disgusted.
"Aren't you ashamed of yourself?!" he yells.
​ME?! Oh, now I’m getting seriously pissed off.