scrapbook ☀ hood - 1D

14 - love

I kept what I felt to myself. I didn't know what I would tell anyone anyways. 

It had been a day since Niall kissed me. I hadn't told anyone but it wasn't really that big of a deal that I would tell anyone anyways. We finished our first show in Stockholm and Niall, Harry, and Liam sat in my room. 

The boys were exhausted and that was obvious. Non of us really said much. Everyone just sat on their phones. I saw some of their tweets about thanking Stockholm and how amazing the show was. It truly was a good show. The boys were as energetic as ever. I couldn't wait for tomorrow. 

I sat and worked on some pictures before putting them in the Stockholm folder on my laptop. They all looked great. I was getting bored with them in my room and I wanted to go walk around. 

Hopefully run into Calum My conscious told me. I ignored and got up.

"I need some fresh air.. If you guys go to bed.. uh.. goodnight." I said and they all just nodded. 

As I walked around the hallway, I went to the elevator. 

"Hold it!" A voice said. Zayn came running to the door and I let him in. 

"Thanks" He smiled. We sat in the elevator for a second without saying a word. 

"Zayn.. can I uh.. talk to you about something?" I asked. 

"Yeah" He nodded. 

"Well.. you know how you told me that love triangles suck?"

"Yeah?" 

"Well... Niall.. he kissed me last night.." I told him. "And I felt like I had something else on my mind.."

"Calum." He stated like it was obvious.

"Yeah" I sighed. 

"Maybe you should tell Niall..." he told me. 

"It's easier said than done.." I looked at the marble flooring.

"You're right but sometimes you have to think of whats best for others..." He said "And think about what would happen if you didn't tell him.. it's gonna come up some time or another.."

"I just don't want things to change" I told him. "I really like Niall"

"And you might love Calum."

"I don't know if I love him. That's the thing..." The elevator door dinged and opened to the bottom floor. 

"I just have to get some ice.. after i'm done do you want to go up to my room?" He asked.

"Yeah" I nodded. I followed him to get the ice and then we were in the elevator again. 

"So you don't know if you actually love Calum." He said. 

"Right." I nodded.

"I don't know how you feel towards other people and what you define as love..." He said "But love to me... Love is when you picture yourself without that person.. you feel right. You feel like there's nothing missing. You feel like all you need to do in the world is to be by that one person. Maybe it takes some time to realize that you're missing something but it gets stronger by each passing day and you just want to know how their day has gone and what their favorite movies are and what kind of tea they like.. y'know? It's the little things that add up to one big thing and that one big thing... it's Love. Love isn't just attraction, it's the little things as well."

"You obviously have someone behind all that" I giggled.

"Her name is Perrie Edwards." He smiled at the thought of her. "And she's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.."

I wished that I could set my mind straight and figure out how I felt about Calum. I want that so badly. I want to be able to look at someone and know for sure that I love them and that I would do anything to be by their side but I just didn't know how to get to that point. I didn't know if I could even muster up that strong feeling. 

And even though I didn't know how I felt about Calum, I didn't know my feelings for Niall either. I couldn't get his face out of my mind when Zayn kept talking. I haven't known Niall that long. How could I love someone I've know for only a few months? I wanted things to be easier.

As soon as the doors to the elevator opened, Calum stood right outside, leaning against the wall on the phone. 

"Talk to him." Zayn whispered to me. Zayn walked away and I stayed behind to just talked to Calum. He sat on the phone for a minute and soon I chickened out. I just motioned I was going to go to my room.

I took another deep breath and then walked back to my room which was now empty. I looked at my phone that I left on the night stand and saw I got a text from Niall.

Niall Horann - 12:45; We need to talk about last night...

You - 1:00; How about after the show tomorrow?

Niall Horann - 1:04; Sounds good ;) Sweet dreams x