scrapbook ☀ hood - 1D

25 - tell her

*DIDNT EDIT THIS SORRY UGH*

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"What the hell happened to you?" Michael asked me as I walked back into my room. I was speechless after talking to Ester. It seemed that when I tried to push her away, it never worked. Somehow I always ended up falling back into where I was before and I wished it didn't have to be like that.

I really didn't think that Ester and I could fix everything. Nothing is the same and we're both different now. I just wished that I could confidently say I was over her. I knew when I told her I was done that it was a lie.

"You look like you got hit by a truck" Michael chucked. He just finished packing and I still had all of my clothes to fold.

"Well" I huffed. I spent the time I had packing. While I did, I stayed silent and thought about everything.

Michael just sat on his bed. I couldn't shake the feeling she gave me off of my chest. She took over my mind like nothing else could and it drove me crazy. We didn't last very long at home but when I I'm near her it's like I've known her my whole entire life and I really didn't think anyone could have that effect on my. I just wished we could get past the stupid ditch we're in at the moment.

I was just scared that things might never go back to the way things were. There was no way I could take back what I did. It just made me angry that she over reacted. Yes, it was hard to leave but it was for my career and what I love. It was just wrong to keep it from her for so long. I should have told her right away and maybe things would have been different.

Something triggered in me the moment I stopped thinking of everything I had done wrong. I looked at everything with a whole new perspective and I looked at Ester with a whole new perspective.

"Michael." I stated. "I'm in love with her."

"Damn, and it took you this long to figure it out?" He looked up from his phone.

"But, what do I do about it?" I scrunched my eyebrows together.

"You tell her" he looked at me like I was crazy.

I moved to the door as soon as he said that and walked to her room. It was open and I walked straight in.

"Ester?" I called out but a maid poked her head out of the bathroom door.

"The room was checked out of thirty minutes ago" She said to me.

"Oh, thank you" I nodded and began to walk out the door. My head hung and I sighed as I walked through the door to our room. She left already? She couldn't have left to Italy already.

"She wasn't there was she?" Michael asked.

"No" I shook my head.

"What are you going to do the next time you see her?" he asked even though he knew the answer.

"I'm gonna tell her."

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I met up with Harry as soon as his interview was done. He texted me through out the day and talked to me about Calum after he had left. There was still much to say but I told him the gist of what happened.

I threw my luggage in the back of the black SUV before jumping in the back with Harry. Liam sat in the front and Niall jumped in the back so I could sit in the front.

"Hey guys" I said as I put a seatbelt on.

"How was your morning?" Harry asked. I chuckled a bit and then pulled out my phone. I had to two texts from Calum and five from Michael. They were wondering where I was since I left without saying goodbye. I needed some space and I knew I would see them in Italy.

We were going to Italy early because they had a few things to do while there. A few interviews and they wanted to record as well. It seemed like no time that we were already on the plane. Harry kept our conversation for later when the others weren't around. In the mean time, as I sat next to Harry, I quickly took a picture of him not paying attention.

"Gotcha!" I smiled and looked as the picture printed out.

"So tell me exactly what you're feeling now" Harry ignored my picture.

"Too hard of a question." I stated.

"Then just start talking." He shrugged.

I began with how I didn't like the way things have changed between us. I was afraid that we would never go back to the way things were because we have both changed so much. I also explained that I was afraid I pushed Calum away too much for him to ever forgive me. I told Harry I couldn't read his emotions when he was in my room this morning. I told him that everything scared me because in all honesty, I still had feelings for him. No matter what, it was the reality of the situation. How could I get over someone like him?

"Have you told him?" Harry asked.

"We have talked about four times on the whole tour!" I laughed. I missed the way he used to smile at me and I feel as though we haven't truly looked at each other since he left.

"Oh, god." Harry chuckled.

"What?" I asked, nervous.

"How can you not see!" he laughed now.

"What?" I looked at him with confusion now.

"How did I not see?" he asked himself.

"Are you going to tell me what You're talking about?" I asked him.

"You're in love with him" he told me and I immediately laughed.

"You're crazy." I shook my head. "I don't think I even know what love is..."

"But that's the best part." Harry smiled and I remained confused. "There's no official definition of what love is."

"Let's say I was-"

"You are" he smirked

"Shh. If I was, what do I even do with that kind of emotion?"

"You tell him" he looked at me like I was crazy.

"I can't do that" I laughed at him.

"Can you guys keep it down?" A tired Louis asked as he sat in front of us.

"Sorry" I whispered.

"Yes you can and you will" Harry said, switching positions to be more comfortable. He started to doze off while I sat withy the words still stuck in my head - you're in love with him.