VAN ZACKARY OBSESSION

KABANATA 26

Kabanata 26

"Are you okay?" Patrick suddenly ask, he pushed me towards him and tighten his grip dahil pakiramdam niya yata tutumba ako.

I nod at him. "Washroom muna ako." I whisper afterwards.

"Alright, let's go." anas niya at marahan akong ginaya kung saan ang daan sa washroom. I stop midway, baka hanapin siya dito.

"I can handle myself, stay here, baka hanapin ka nila." I smile a bit.

"You sure?" He asked a bit worried. I smile, assurance that I'm fine. He nod and let me go, mahigpit ang hawak ko sa cellphone ko habang lumalabas sa hotel.

Suddenly I feel suffocated. Hangin ng gabi ang bumalot sa buong katawan ko ng tuluyang makalabas sa hotel. I hail a taxi, I'll text Riza that I'm leaving, and ask Patrick number too.

The taxi stop in front of me, bubuksan ko na ang pinto ng may mag-sara at paalisin ito. Someone ask me, I know who is it. Isang pamilyar na pabango ang bumalot sa ilong ko. He hug me, it makes me speechless while tears form to my eyes.

I push him and cry. I slap him, dahilan kung bakit siya nagulat. I miss him, I fucking miss him. Iniiyak ko lahat, yung sama ng loob ko, yung galit at selos. I can't hold it anymore, ngayo'ng nasa harap ko na siya.

"What was that for?" maang niyang tanong.

"I hate you!" angil ko sa kaniya. Do I really hate him? No, because despite of mix emotion I love him, I really do.

He looks mad.

He move closer and grab the back of my head. His lips crashed to mine, it's harsh. It likes he's punishing me.

Nagpapalag ako para makalayo sa kaniya ngunit halos hindi ako makalayo dahil mas malakas siya sa akin, lalo niya lang dinidiin ang labi niya sa labi ko. I taste blood because of his kiss, wala na akong ibang nagawa kung hindi ang umiyak.

Siya na ang naglayo sa sarili niya at mahinang pinagmumura ang sarili dahil sa nagawa, I look at him without any emotion and a tears flowing on my cheeks

"Did you kiss Clarilyn the way you kiss me? I bet not." mapakla kong tanong at sagot sa sariling tanong.

"What? Of course not. What the fvck, Ysabel?" mura niya na mukhang stress na stress, if I were know. "Why would I kiss someone? I have a fucking girlfriend!" He continued.

"Don't lie on me, Van. Tell me are you done on me? Sana sinabi mo, hindi mo kami pinag-sabay. She's your type right? Big boobs with a perfect body."

Keeping what I really feel for almost how many weeks, makes me say this words. I can't keep my self shut.

"Fvck! Who told you that? Of course not. Damn! I'm the one who's getting jealous here." frustrated niya ng saad.

"Liar. I saw you awhile ago, ang sweet niyo. Bagay kayo." Hindi na siya nakapag-salita. Looking so guilty now huh?

"Stop this, we should stop here. Stop playing, because honestly natatakot ako. I was scared that one day, you left me. I was so scared that you'll hurt me. And, right now you're hurting me. Dahil ang sakit na dito" I point where my heart is. "I don't know if I should stop, para naman maisalba ko pa ang sarili ko sa posibleng sakit na maidudulot mo." Then another set of tears fell.

"Do you think laro lang 'to? Do you think sasaktan kita? I care for you, na every second, minute and time I was thinking where you are, whose with you. Your always on my mind, Ysabel, making me crazy." I was shock. "Then I saw you here with that askal make me insane. Na sana, kinulit nalang kita." Is this real or I am dreaming?

"I almost lost my mind ng makita kitang pumasok habang ganiyan ang suot mo, with a smile plastered on your face. Na para bang sayang saya ka habang nakahawak sayo ang siraulong iyon... I give you a time, to think... not this."

For a minute hindi ako nakagalaw, no words running on my mind. Pakiramdam ko naubos lahat ng gusto kong isumbat sa kaniya, nawala ng parang bula ang galit at selos na nararamdaman ko.

Magsasalita sana ako ngunit wala talaga akong masabi, a car stop in front of us. He wipes my tear bago ako pag-buksan ng pinto, ginawaran niya muna ako ng isang halik bago isara at sumakay sa driver seat. Para nang tanga ang tibok ng puso ko, my mind get blank at parang 'yung halik niya nalang ang tumatakbo sa utak ko.

Wala pang isang oras ng i-park niya ang sasakyan sa hindi pamilyar na bahay, hindi ko na nagawang mamangha sa ganda ng paligid dahil bigla niya nalang akong hinalikan. He carried me while kissing. I don't know what's happening, I just saw my self naked while moaning his name.

"I love you." bulong niya when he cum.

I stare for awhile. Keep processing what he said. I smile on him and kiss his lips, smack lang.

"I love you too."

Halatang nagulat siya sa sinagot ko, but he smile. He lay beside me, pilit niyang isiniksik ang sarili sa dibdib ko. His breath tickles me. Para siyang bata na sumisiksik sa gitna ng dibdib ko, I know he can hear the beating of my heart. It's because of him, my heart beat wildly because of him.

"Why are you with that woman, I saw you with her kanina... Sa mall. I really thought break na talaga tayo, you didn't call one week straight, I thought nag-sawa kana. Then there I saw you kanina." basag ko sa katahimikan, kabado dahil in-open ko pa kung ano ang nasa isip ko.

Until now, I can feel jealousy with me. That woman is really a beauty, I am insecure. Hindi ko alam kung naka-tulog na siya dahil hindi niya ako sinagot.

"Who?" he ask, dahilan kung bakit ako nakaramdam ng irita. Ang dami niya bang nakasama? Bakit parang hindi niya na maalala.

"I heard Clarilyn is her name, don't bluff me Van. She's looking for you kanina. Don't tell me you keep meeting some random woman, kaya hindi mo na maalala." A bit irritated now.

"Uh? Dad want me to accompany her, and what's with the meeting some random woman. Kanina lang ako lumabas, I'm busy with paper work. At isa pa, I'm looking for someone. Dad keeps bugging me na samahan siya, so I did. I don't know that you'll gonna see us. I'm sorry." kalmante niyang sagot.

Even where arguing o matatawag bang pag-tatalo dahil ako lang naman ang naiinis at kalmante lang siya. We stay on our position, him between my chest and me brushing his hair softly.

Silence between us again, it's calming. Him besides me give me comfort, hindi ko alam dahil siguro sa pagod ay nakatulog ako. I don't know kung ako o siya ang unang naka-tulog. It doesn't matter, ang mahalaga we fall asleep on each other arms.